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Tag Archives: elsasinclair

The Project:

Horses from many walks of life, communication through body language, tools used only for safety, never to train.

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The Goal:

To discover how far Equestrian Art can be developed solely using body language.

 

 

To Ride Or Not To Ride

In the world of humans and horses there is all sorts of debate about the morality of riding horses and it is something I spend a great deal of time thinking about.

Ari and I are getting close to a time where riding may be one of the things we can enjoy together and I find myself hesitating. The question is: Why am I hesitating?

Is it due to the morality of the subject? Were horses meant to carry weight on their backs? Do we as humans have any right to ask them to do so?

These are questions worth asking, but no matter how many angles I look at it from, the answer must be that it depends on the situation.

I firmly believe horses want some balance of easy harmony with friends contrasted by diversion and entertainment. The variety they experience of both harmony and entertainment determines the richness of their life experience.

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In an ideal world all harmony and all entertainment would be healthy for a horse, but in the real world healthy is a matter of perspective.

If you really enjoy something you might choose to do more than is absolutely healthy in a physical sense, but the emotional component of enjoyment holds its own value.

For a horse, the factors of physical health and emotional health all weigh in as reasons to do anything. How much time is spent eating, how much time is spent playing, how much time is spent walking, how much time is spent running, how much time is spent doing what the horse wants personally, how much time is spent doing what a friend wants the horse to do? For any horse, there is a balance in all this that works for them and brings a quality of life.

I believe being ridden by a human can add to the quality of life a horse has as it adds both experiences of harmony with a partner, and diversion and entertainment in the variations of experiences that can be shared.

Many people would ask me, what about the damage that can be done to a horse’s back by carrying weight? My reply is: The factor of weight and physical damage is one of many factors that is considered, but I do not think the fear of damage is something that should rule every decision we make.

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Quality of life considers potential damage but is not ruled by an absolute avoidance of it.

Horses eating grass is my favorite example of this. My mares are far too fat, and they are very happy. I believe they would be physically healthier if I put muzzles on them or locked them up so they couldn’t eat so much grass or forced them to exercise so they were slimmer and more athletic. However, I am not sure they would be happier. Given the balance of choices, they prefer to be as they are.

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I believe it is not so much about questioning if riding is healthy, it is questioning if riding adds quality to the life my horse and I share?

My warmblood Zohari is in his early twenties and had a bit of a health issue this spring when he got bitten by a spider and stopped eating for a while. He lost a great deal of muscle across his topline and we have been slowly working on feeding him back up to full health. Recently I have started riding him again, for five or ten minutes a day.

I must weigh the pros and cons of the enjoyment we both get from this activity together, against Zohari’s less than perfect back health. There is no absolute answer of right or wrong when you take enjoyment of the moment into account. There is only what feels right and a million factors that weigh into that feeling.

For me, the choice to ride without tack helps me feel the horse’s engagement in the activity with me. It helps me make the choice to ride or not to ride. It brings a richer, more connected experience for me and the horse together.

I do believe in tack and all the reasons for it. Saddles make carrying weight more comfortable for a horse, halters and bridles bring safety in situations where you must change a horse’s focus more quickly than the horse might choose. Everything has its time, its place and its reason.

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I would simply hope that quality of life for both horse and human become the driving force for any choices we make.

With Ari, I believe learning to carry weight on his back will allow him and I an interesting diversity of experience together.

Ari was an eight-year-old stallion living wild with a herd and thousands of acres to explore before he came to live with me. While I think he is grateful he isn’t starving anymore, has water easily available every day, and he enjoys his life here, it is not a very diverse experience. The things we can do together are limited by safe enclosure of the paddock fences.

Riding will open a new range of variations of experiences to share together.

Why do I still hesitate?

Two reasons:

The first is my interest in Freedom Based Training® and taking the time it takes to build enjoyment in everything we do together one tiny step at a time without any tools or incentives beyond our simple shared harmony. Every tiny step of diversity we learn to enjoy together brings richness to our shared lives. On the way to developing riding together, there is a vast and valuable range of experiences that do not need to be rushed, they want to be savored.

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The second reason is more personal and harder for me to share. Fifteen years ago, I rode with skill and ease that I no longer have. I remember what it was like to handle any challenge on horseback with total confidence that I could be in the right place at the right time with the right balance to allow the horse to carry me forward with ease. My life was filled with galloping and jumping and technical trails. While doing all these things I lived for analyzing and improving on the perfect alignment of the human body in dynamic harmony with the horse’s body at every turn.

Life happens and I got sick. I ended up with bouts of vertigo that come and go with random unpredictability. The powerless feeling that comes when you cannot crawl from one side of a room to another without falling on your side repeatedly is one I would not wish on anyone.

Fifteen years later I am better, I no longer have vertigo bouts of that severity and I know how to take better care of myself than I did then. However, I am not the same as I was, and my balance is a shadow of what it once was.

Now when I sit on a horse, I thank that horse for their patience and their kindness to me. When my head spins for a moment unexpectedly I will need to grab hold with my knees, contracting with an uncomfortable tension as I fight to stay vertical and find my center again. I will find center again; I will relax and release with the horse in flow and harmony and there will be many beautiful moments we share.

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I still believe those beautiful moments riding are worth the times I have to work through the difficult moments. The horses that know me well are comfortable taking a deep breath and stabilizing for me when I need it.

Ari has never carried a rider, and so I hesitate as I ask myself: Can I ride well enough, with enough balance and harmony to make this new experience good for both of us?

In all honesty, I don’t know, just as none of us can ever know the future.

I do believe I can do well enough for Ari as a rider, so long as I take it a moment at a time, a step at a time, and build one experience of enjoyment after the next with Ari. If we do this right, we will have as much patience as we need for each other when balance needs to be found again.

For now, until the time feels right for Ari and me to ride together, I will invest my time riding the horses that know me well. Honing my skills, rebuilding my riding muscles, and remembering how much fun can be had between horse and human in the whole range of activities riding includes.

For all of you who consider that question, to ride or not to ride. I would tell you, follow your heart, weigh each situation individually, and above all else, read the horse not the rule book.

There is no absolute right and wrong, there are instead a million variations in the ways we can improve the quality of life for everyone.

Consider them all and forge ahead into all the enjoyment possible for you and your horse.

Hooves and Heartbeats,

Elsa

TamingWild.com

If you would like to see a video about my perspective on riding, join us on https://www.patreon.com/tamingwild where I post weekly update videos on everything Taming Wild.

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The Project:

Horses from many walks of life, communication through body language, tools used only for safety, never to train.

The Goal:

To discover how far Equestrian Art can be developed solely using body language.

 

Taming the Wild Want…

Ari and I were standing on the hillside together breathing hard for a moment as we regained our composure. Ari licked and chewed and snorted as I looked out over the valley and thought about my next choices.

I am reminded time and again that training horses in collaboration with their needs and wants is a journey of self-discovery and often an exercise of taming my wild wants.

All independent beings have a tendency to want what they want when they want it. Then for most of us independent beings, we find one of the things we want is to be in a relationship with another being of equal status that also wants what they want when they want it.

If what I want and what my partner wants is valued equally what do we do when those wants appear to be opposed?

On this particular day, this conundrum is what Ari and I were navigating.

Ari wanted to nap under his favorite tree in the paddock. I had placed a bucket out in the woods for me to sit on or stand on, I wanted Ari to take a walk with me out to the woods to find it, then he could resume his nap while I sat beside him. A simple game we had played before and one I thought was well within our range of capability.

After a few minutes of being together and exchanging the pleasantries of the day I asked Ari to walk with me. Ari took a few steps and stopped so I asked again and he again took a few steps and stopped.

Ari wanted to nap, I wanted to walk and I thought I could talk him around to my point of view so I kept asking. However, here is what happens when two independent beings have opposing wants: Fight, Flight or Freeze.

I often think Ari has a bit of a sense of humor in this relationship we are building. I ask him to take a walk too many times and so he does, but then he keeps on picking up speed until we are running through the woods side by side right past the bucket that was my goal all the way to the far side. We regroup for a moment, enjoy the view together, then I ask him to walk again and he says yes, and then kicks into a little bit of flight so we find ourselves running through the trees again back to the home paddock and his favorite shade tree where he again informs me he would like to resume his nap.

I tell all my students, when you are confronted with fight, flight or freeze in a relationship, take a moment, take a breath, take a walk, and then re-approach with more tact.

Neither Ari nor I want a relationship where our partner blindly says yes to everything we want, nor do we want a relationship where our partner gives up when we say no or our wants seem to be opposing.

Relationships are about finding common ground to stand on and common ideas to share.

If I was going to re-approach Ari with more tact I was going to need to tame the want I felt to take this walk out to a specific place in the woods, while setting the situation up so he could also tame his want to sleep under his favorite tree.

What is possible between us today in this moment?

With more tact and better feel I asked Ari to take just a few steps towards the woods, and then back up a step toward his favorite tree, and then we rested for a long while, doing only things well within our comfort zone.

Ari gets to nap and feel sleepy while I lean on him and rest my cheek on his back, enjoying the peace together. Sometimes when he looks a little grumpy I can stroke his neck or rock his body a little and cause a change of focus for the better and then we resume simply being together.

When I think the likely answer might be yes, I ask Ari for a few more steps out toward the woods but again, we stop before his wants and my wants run into each other.

Rest and repeat.

Slowly, gently, and peacefully Ari and I make our way out to the woods and the bucket that was my goal, two or three steps at a time with many rests to soak up the beauty of the day and allow Ari his desire to nap.

Ari makes room for my wants, but only when I tame them to what he thinks is a reasonable level. I make room for Ari’s wants while also encouraging him to tame his wants and be a little adaptable to mine.

When we take food rewards and tools of pressure out of the conversation with a horse, we start to see how to collaborate with them. We start to see that the horse’s wants are every bit as valid as our own wants and the coming together of their wants and our wants is the foundation of the relationship.

A year from now, I might be able to ask Ari to leave his napping plans to walk with me and he will happily put them aside for a while because he knows what I ask is reasonable. However, the way I prove to Ari consistently that my requests will be reasonable is to stay under the threshold of fight, flight and freeze as we work together.

Believe me, I am far from perfect and often my wild wants get the best of me. The point is, when I make a mistake and push Ari into fight, flight or freeze, I notice, take responsibility for my part in the equation and think my way through it to a better relationship.

The fun part is, I find horses learn by example. While I will get better at asking for reasonable things from Ari and tame my wants when I see I am provoking too much fight, flight or freeze, Ari will develop slowly and surely in the same way. When Ari sees that he is provoking too much fight, flight, or freeze in me, he will learn to tame his wants a little to find common ground with me.

A little at a time we will build and strengthen our collaborative desire to find common ground and common ideas to share, and that makes life more fun for both of us.

Ari and I were lucky enough to have someone filming this week as we navigated our way from his napping tree to my destination of choice out in the woods. I have put together a video of the process and posted it on Patreon. I encourage you to join us there for weekly video clips of inspiration and ongoing conversation about these ideas.

https://www.patreon.com/tamingwild

Collaboration with horses might be slower than training them using stronger methods, but the way it feels to develop together this way feeds my soul and builds a life I want to live. I am happy to share my musing and learning along the way and I appreciate the community you all contribute to when you take a moment to read or watch.

Life is better together, thank you!

Hooves and Heartbeats,

Elsa

TamingWild.com

 

The Project:

Horses from many walks of life, communication through body language, tools used only for safety, never to train.

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The Goal:

To discover how far Equestrian Art can be developed solely using body language.

 

Dark Night of the Soul

April Fools’ day sent me sprawling emotionally. Thank you Atlas for humbling me yet again.

Yes, in the end of March I wrote about our: “breakthrough I thought we could count on!”

I could see the light at the end of the tunnel for Atlas and I, and we were steadily moving the right direction… and then yet again I was wrong.

This is the dark beauty of being a researcher. We come up with a plausible hypothesis and then we take action to test it out. The results come in and we get feedback about where we were wrong, and where we were right.

That last part, “feedback about where we were wrong, and where we were right,” is sometimes about as clear as mud, and I am up to my knees in it mucking around trying to figure it out.

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I am going to read this in the future and laugh at the things that baffled me then.

However, it rarely feels funny in the dark moments searching for truth. When I get stuck, I feel dark and depressed, like I have no business being a research trainer. I should stick to the tried and proven theories that the other great trainers of the world have already tested for me.

Yet still, I find I am driven to search for better solutions.

Here is what happened to make me question everything with Atlas, again.

We had a foggy day, and something about the air currents that day made the fog horns sounding on the ocean also reverberate through our little valley. Every time the noise echoed around us Ari and Atlas would startle and stare in the direction of the ocean to the west.

By the time the fog had burned off Ari had let it go and was back to his happy-go-lucky self. Atlas was an emotional wreck and I couldn’t get anywhere near him, again.

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I thought, no problem, we have a solution now, we will just walk together until this stress dissipates for him.

We walked on and off all day and even though he walked with his ears pinned for most of the time, he rarely licked or chewed, his muzzle was held tight and unflinching, and every slight noise made him leap out of his skin, I still had confidence we would get through it together. This was not going to be a big backslide in progress like past events had been, I was determined.

It would take over an hour in each session for Atlas to settle enough to reach out and touch my hand, finishing the session, his entire body shaking with fear as he made the effort. I would leave him to eat for a while and then come back to repeat the process.

The next day our first session seemed hopeful, and Atlas seemed not quite as afraid or angry as he has been the day before.

The second session changed everything.

Atlas decided he didn’t want to walk anymore, and he was mad as hell with me for suggesting it.

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I knew I could wave my arms and scare him into it, but if I did that, then what did I have left to defend myself with if he got really angry and threw himself at me?

So instead we held a sort of a stand-off where I would walk toward him, very slowly, four beats breathing in for one step, four beats breathing out for the next step. Atlas would back away from me very slowly, with his ears pinned.

I honestly wasn’t sure if he was going to keep yielding or attack, but my instinct bet on him choosing yield as the better option, so long as I kept it slow enough for him to think.

Around and around and around the paddock we went like this. Each step I took toward Atlas causing an angry backward yield step from him.

Occasionally he would come out of his furious self-focus, the ears would flick forward and I would pull my focus off of him to look out over the valley and breathe.

When his muzzle had stopped twitching and I had given him time to just be peaceful and easy with me, I would look at him again and he would instantly pin his ears at me again, and the process would repeat.

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Atlas did not want me there, I was the source of his discomfort more than I was the source of any comfort and he was angry with me.

I felt like I had failed him again and it was killing me. More than that, I realized I was afraid of him for the first time since we had met.

At this point I got sick, and found myself too weak to do anything more than the basics of care with the horses. I spent an entire day in bed sleeping and feeling miserable, when I woke up the next day I knew I had to change something.

What do I do if Atlas refuses to walk his stress off, and I don’t feel like I have the luxury of time to start again with the distance work, building trust over time until he will accept closeness once more…

I always tell my students that you earn the right to be an assertive leader by investing in the relationship either passively or dominantly.

Assertive leaders ask for things gently, kindly, and without extreme pressure. If you have enough invested in the relationship the horse will say “yes” to what you ask, but if you do not, your gentle requests will become irritating to the horse and the horse will start to become more and more dysfunctional in their behavior toward you.

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I had invested so much with Atlas passively I thought I had earned the right to ask him to walk gently and be successful, and I was correct for a while. Then I learned that an environmental impact like the fog horns brings his stress levels so high it results in less relationship credit to use.

In this situation when my credit ran out, and Atlas was no longer was willing to walk, I kept asking him to at least change focus for me, and this repeated asking in a quiet way with long durations of eye contact became more and more irritating to him.

This mired us deeper and deeper into a hole where he was angry and I was frightened, and yet neither of us was willing to back down.

I thought maybe I just need to persevere and keep putting gentle pressure on him to change focus and he would start to come around to seeing my request helped him feel better. I would work for hours every day and we would see progress from the start of the day to the end of the day, but the next day Atlas was even more angry and resistant, and I found myself feeling more afraid of him.

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I think we had to do this for a while so I could see clearly, that I am not above the rules.

The rules were going to force me to reinvest in the relationship either passively or dominantly; no more gentle persistence of asking for things.

I might be skilled enough in my feel and timing of assertive leadership to win the battle of wills for the day, but I was losing the overall goal of having Atlas associate me with better feelings the next time he saw me.

With summer coming I am feeling the time pressure to develop our training faster for many reasons. Trimming his hooves is becoming a more immediate concern. I would like to move him from the paddock to the pasture with its less secure fencing, and I would like to have some peace of mind that I could attend to him if any health emergency arose. Given all these factors, I chose the dominant leader option.

I will still spend some time in passive leadership at a distance every day, but it can’t be my only solution because it simply is taking too long for Atlas.

I brought a rope out and placed it on the box in the middle of the arena, and I promised myself I would use it to scare Atlas if he tried to threaten me in any way. I knew I could throw the rope just right to make Atlas feel trapped between me and the fence, making me the dominant leader and ending the argument quickly, allowing us to find our walk again. Once we could walk, I knew I could become re-associated with Atlas’ good feelings.

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This is the most interesting part of the story. Once the rope was somewhere I could reach for it, I never needed to pick it up. My confidence was high again and Atlas started responding to me completely differently. I now moved in clear confident ways, so he felt the pressure between me and the fence as the right amount of dominance. Any face-off between us was quickly finished and we had found our walk again.

Once we found our walk we found our consistent good feelings together and relatively quickly we found ourselves back to the level of relationship we had at the end of March.

A trust we can count on and reliable good feelings we can find together, even at close distances.

This week, I even got my first whinny from him when I walked by the paddock.

It is humbling to see in hindsight the mistakes I made over the last couple of weeks, but I share them with you all so you can learn from them too. I posted a video of this challenging time with Atlas in the Patreon group and I welcome you to join the group to share the journey with me.

https://www.patreon.com/tamingwild

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I feel a strong optimism about the path ahead for Atlas and me now, but if history is any indication he probably has a great deal more to teach me. I promise to keep you posted of all I learn.

Hooves and Heartbeats,

Elsa

TamingWild.com

The Project:

Horses from many walks of life, communication through body language, tools used only for safety, never to train.

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The Goal:

To discover how far Equestrian Art can be developed solely using body language.

Before Riding…

This week I thought I would talk you through a brief photo essay of some of the things Ari and I are doing to get ready for riding._I0A3115

The past few weeks we have developed Ari’s comfort in being leaned on. He knows how to brace his feet and find his balance accommodating me shifting around him and putting my full weight up against his.

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We have spent many hours going places together with Ari leading the way. This is important because once I am sitting on his back I will always be following his lead.

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We practice having my arms go up in the air so I am taller than normal, this is a minor change in comparison to sitting up on Ari’s back, but we have to start with small steps toward the end goal.

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As you can see Ari is not sure he approves of me being taller so close to him, so I do it only for a moment and then retreat to being a normal height.

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When Ari has made the most change toward better feeling that I think is possible for the moment, I offer him my hand, he touches in, and that is our agreement to change the conversation to something easier.

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Having me down low was a challenge for Ari at the beginning of our relationship. Now he finds it much preferred in comparison to the other option, me being taller than usual.

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Hugging Ari is a funny task that is important before riding because he has never experienced being squeezed by human limbs before.

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There will be times riding when I need to catch my balance and grab ahold of him for a moment with my legs or my arms.

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We need to make sure this is comfortable for him in relaxed situations before I ever try to do it in any situation with higher energy.

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Our next task to get comfortable with is jumping.

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After I sit on Ari, I will have to jump off of him at some point.

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As you can see, Ari is less than pleased with the jumping, so we keep it far enough away from him to be tolerable for now.

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With a little support from Ocassio and I over time, Ari will adapt and learn that jumping is amusing and not bothersome at all.

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Our final task this week is about buckets, and my ability to stand on them, as I will need to do to climb on for a ride.

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At this point in time, I practice far away from Ari.

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And often I practice when I am downhill from him so I am not too tall at first.

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As you can see, at this point in time, Ari likes the part best when he sees me stepping off the bucket to become a normal height again.

All of these tasks are approached with the best feel and timing I can manage. Ari is free to express how he feels about each action I take and the duration of harmony we share between actions. Ari’s feedback to me is my continuing education so I am perpetually learning to do this better.

The tasks are fun, but the way we feel together while we do them is so much more important.

I have posted a video on Patreon so you can see our practice of these things in action. If you are curious about this and ongoing stages of the process, I greatly appreciate your patronage joining the group and I will continue to share update videos every week.

https://www.patreon.com/tamingwild

Here is to horses teaching us well! Here is to us humans learning to listen better every day to become the best partners possible through all the fun tasks we might think up.

Hooves and Heartbeats,

Elsa

TamingWild.com

The Project:

Horses from many walks of life, communication through body language, tools used only for safety, never to train.

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The Goal:

To discover how far Equestrian Art can be developed solely using body language.

 

The Road We Travel 

After six months of persistent study, Atlas and I finally have had a breakthrough in trust I feel I can count on. I think Atlas is feeling that as well.

This week, for the first time ever Atlas came over to me, all the way to me, and not because I was standing near the food and he was hungry, or I was near the gate that he wanted to go through. It was in the middle of a big open space with many options for Atlas to choose, and he still chose me.

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I wanted to jump up and down with glee to celebrate his new level of bravery and connection to me, but of course I didn’t. Instead I sat down on the ground in the shadow of his great big head and I watched the world for him while he fell asleep less than an arm’s length away from me.

The way it happened, I was walking out into the paddock with the intention to join him and spend some time breathing and moving around him and walking him down if he needed it, as I do several times every day. Atlas was on the far side of the paddock and as I stepped onto the sand, I got a message on my phone that I stopped to answer. As I was doing that Atlas started walking toward me.

Now, I have a commitment to this theory of shared action, so as he walked toward me, I took the smallest most gentle and rhythmic steps I could toward him. I know this theory of shared action is why Atlas has taken so long to walk toward me, if I did what normal horse trainers do, such as standing still (becoming completely passive) or backing off to draw him in, I could have encouraged this behavior much sooner in our relationship.

Instead, I took the slower route, anything we do, I make sure we do it together. The number one reason for walking toward Atlas as he walks toward me is because drawing a horse in to me physically too soon, when he has a history of attacking people, seems like a terrible idea. The number two reason is, I believe this commitment to shared action is the way I can establish a more bonded relationship where I don’t need tools or food rewards to control behavior.

The last couple of weeks I have immersed myself in a commitment to holding my own rhythm better. Breathing, walking, changing focus, everything I do is based on a reliable metronome-like dependability.

Atlas can hold his breath or alternate between immobility and erratic movement while I hold steady to my personal rhythm. I am devoted to the idea that he can join me in that rhythm or not as he chooses, but I refuse to join him or mirror his unpredictability. It has been a task of herculean proportions holding steady and reliable to my personal rhythm and I realize how much I lean on the natural rhythm of my mustangs when training. Mirroring horses is as natural for me as breathing.

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The exhaustion I was feeling every day from this effort with Atlas was profound, so I went looking for help and found it in an app for my phone. Soundbrenner is a musician’s application that emits a metronome beat I can lean on and it has a corresponding wrist watch that silently holds the same rhythm as a vibration. The day I found that app and starting using it, the visible releases in Atlas doubled and my available energy to spend time with him each day, doubled as well.

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Now here we were, less than an arms-length from each other by his choice and all I  could think, was: “Don’t mess this up Elsa, Atlas is trusting you that this is ok, you have to prove his trust is warranted.”

To prove to Atlas this new-found bravery and interest in me was warranted, I sat there and breathed like my life depended on it, like Atlas’ life depended on it.

Half an hour later I reached my hand up to him, and he reached down to me to touch that hand with his nose. I pulled carefully away from him as I stood up and he watched me peacefully as I walked back to my house.

This breakthrough with Atlas has me thinking about the difference between traumatized horses and unhandled horses and why we might choose to work with them differently. A few weeks ago, I chose to start using the fences more with Atlas to let him feel pressure to change for the better. This was different from my standard practice of Freedom Based Training®, but his perpetual stress and discomfort in the world seemed to need more help than I had been able to give him working in FBT alone.

I wrote about this in the blog “Walking a Horse Down” and I am grateful I had this method to fall back on when it became clear to me Atlas needed more support.

Why did Atlas need more support? Why did we seem to make progress for a week or ten days and then backslide dramatically into distrust and defensiveness again?

Here is a theory I have developed that makes the most sense to me:

When we train horses, we have this road we are traveling together. On one side of the road is a drop-off where the horse feels overwhelmed and shows it in defensive actions of fight or flight. On the other side of the road is a drop-off where the horse feels shut down and shows it though the defensive action of freeze, becoming absent or dissociated from a situation.

The trainer has the job of keeping the horse on this road of development where they can experience thinking, yielding and playing, the good feelings in life.

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Some horses have a wide road and there is room to play between the lines. Every time you go to the edge and then get safely back to the middle, trust is built. The horse realizes that learning new things leads to good feelings and their road gets wider.

Horses who have been traumatized have developed a very narrow road, sometimes it feels like walking down a tightrope with them and keeping from falling off the sides into overwhelmed or shut down is nearly impossible. Every time you lose them to shut down or being overwhelmed, they link the experience of learning with you to feeling worse.

Their patterns of self-defense get strengthened and their road gets even narrower and this results in the breaking down of trust between horse and human.

As a horse trainer, it is not always me at fault when the horse falls off the safe road of good feelings. The environment always plays a part as well. Something as simple as a change in weather can make our road treacherously narrow. I might walk into in the paddock in the morning and find my horse has already stepped off the edge and is hanging onto the cliff face of anxiety.

The theory of Freedom Based Training® is that we play within the lines of the road. When we touch the edges we learn new things, stretching the comfort zone, and that exploration makes our road wider, our trust stronger and our possibility of falling off the edges less likely. Even when life throws us challenges that narrow the road, we have plenty of road to spare.

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With a traumatized horse the road is so narrow that external events can cause far too much damage and it becomes impossible not to fall off and get stuck in the weeds of bad feelings. Every time we fall off and cannot find our way back to good feelings, we make the edges more unstable, we break trust between horse and human, and the road becomes narrower still.

This is what I had been experiencing with Atlas. We were getting to know each other better, we were getting better at staying on the road, but our road wasn’t strong or wide. It felt like any progress we made with building a wider road was temporary and we could not trust the edges.

The problem is you need to go to the edges to make that road wider, and this is the reason I think sometimes a traumatized horse might benefit from the use of tools or food rewards in training.

When I chose to “walk Atlas down”, he had moments where he felt trapped between me and the fence. He was falling off the road of good feelings, he was angry, evasive, and defensive. The fences allowed me to keep Atlas walking when he didn’t want to, he couldn’t just get away from me and end this uncomfortable relationship, we had to work through it together. We were spending time off the edges of the road, but we were doing it in a way that was without doubt going to bring us safely back to the middle of the road and good feelings together.

This visitation of the edges, with a guaranteed way back to better feelings in short order, this is what makes our road wider.

The road becomes wider because the horse experiences learning new things and sees that good feelings follow. This link between learning and better feelings give them security and motivation to do and learn more in partnership with humans.

The use of tools or food rewards keeps the horse involved in that learning through feelings of being overwhelmed or shutdown and then out the other side of the process, back to a better feeling.

This is the reason we might choose to use tools to train a traumatized horse.

When we take away all the tools in Freedom Based Training®, we need to stay on the road. We need better feel and timing as trainers, and more skill navigating new situations. Without tools we have to be careful not to stray too far off the road of good feelings and training must progress more slowly and gently.

This is the reason we might choose to train without tools. It makes us better trainers, and if we do it well, the learning process is more enjoyable for the horse in every stage.

For myself Freedom Based Training® is still my preferred method of training.

For Atlas, when the weather changes in a way that upsets him or he has a fight with his friends, or something I can’t control makes our road too narrow to safely navigate, I will choose to walk him down. Even if it means Atlas feels some pressure from me and the fence together in the process, I feel the positives outweigh the negatives in his case.

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With the occasional help of the fence I can push him over the edge, off his feel-good road, into the weeds of shutdown or overwhelmed on the side, without losing him completely. Then I can safely bring him back to the middle repeatedly until our trust is strengthened once more and his road has become a little wider and a little safer for us to play in-between the lines with no tools.

Atlas’ whole life seems better now that we took the time to go off the road of good feelings, stay together, not give up, and make it safely back up on the road finding those better feelings together.

This is how I understand my choices now. Tools and food rewards (used well) allow a trainer to use the edges of the road as a bigger part of the process and let the horse experience those stronger feelings of discomfort and defensiveness, knowing that the bad feelings are temporary, and the trainer can get the horse back to the middle of the road of feeling good effectively.

If my road with a horse is wide enough for me to play within the lines in freedom, that is how I prefer to live.

If I can’t seem to stay on the road with a traumatized horse, I might choose to use a tool to safely hang us off the edge into overwhelm or shutdown and then bring us home safely to a better feeling, as many times as it takes to make our road wider, safer and a beautiful place to live.

There are many roads to Rome. We don’t just get to choose which road we travel; we also get to build the foundation of our road as we go.

Here is to the building of a path that suits you and creating a journey you and your horse look forward to every day.

Hooves and Heartbeats,

Elsa

TamingWild.com

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The Project:

Horses from many walks of life, communication through body language, tools used only for safety, never to train.

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The Goal:

To discover how far Equestrian Art can be developed solely using body language.

 

Breathe Like your Life Depends on It!

Standing in the evening sun on a beautiful spring day next to Atlas, I watch out over the meadow, counting my breaths. A bald eagle swoops down to pick up a stick from the field for his nest building. A hawk darts through the deeper trees to my left on errands I can only guess at. The frogs start their evening serenade.

I breathe, I count, I wait.

Atlas’ muzzle jumps and twitches and shivers and quivers like the end of his nose has been taken over by a crazy spirit. I watch these physical developments Atlas is experiencing from my peripheral vision as I more directly study the valley in front of us and breathe.

Taming Wild isn’t about taming a wild horse, though on the surface it can seem to mean that. Taming Wild is about taming the wild in myself of wanting too much, too soon. Before I met Atlas, I thought I had developed a profound degree of patience and I was proud of that. Now Atlas is helping develop a whole deeper level of patience in me that is exposing pockets of wild impatience and calling on me to find better ways to tame them.

We spent the last few weeks in a process of walking Atlas down off his stress every day. I have observed some days I am good at this and other days I don’t seem able to help Atlas nearly as much.

I have spent countless sleepless nights staring at the moon and listening to Atlas walk around the paddock below my window. I know we had a good day when his steps are measured and rhythmic as he walks from his water to his hay, and out to the arena and back. I know we had a less successful day when I hear a night full of spooking and stumbling and erratic movements from one place to the next, punctuated with loud, abrupt, exhalations of breath.

I want to fix this for Atlas right now! This is the wild in me. I don’t want him to have to experience such chaos and upset as part of his life anymore! There is nothing here that will hurt him, and I want him to know that, believe that, and feel it in a way that lets him live a normal life.

Selfishly, I also want to touch him. I have never had a horse as a companion for so many hours without touching as a huge component of our communication. I know many ways I could coerce Atlas into the touching aspect of the relationship, and sometimes I am tempted to use food more directly as a means to an end, but we are not there yet.

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The reason I set this project as an experimental year is to help me in these moments of wanting to speed up progress. For this year, as long as I can keep both of us safe, our job is to tame the wild of wanting too much too soon, and let the relationship evolve naturally.

That is easier said than done.

What if a horse has everything they need without being pressured to alter themselves to get it? To what degree would they choose to develop a relationship with a human voluntarily? To what degree can I use the power of my personal choices in the spaces around a horse to build trust and a sense of well-being?

These questions put the pressure on me to tame my own wild of wanting too much too soon and wait for what Atlas wants to develop.

So here we are, standing side by side for hours at a time, breathing and waiting.

I teach in all my courses, that rhythm is confidence for a horse. As we develop their sense of rhythm, we develop their comfort and confidence in life.

What I have noticed over the last week is how difficult rhythm is for Atlas, and how some days I am able to support him better than others.

The walking down of his stress worked so well because the rhythm of our steps helped Atlas find the rhythm of his breathing, and it helped me find the rhythm of mine at the same time. This predictable rhythm helped Atlas find his sense of curiosity and interest and once that started to blossom, we didn’t need to walk as much.

However, once we didn’t need to walk as much, I noticed our sense of rhythm grew faulty and then we seemed to get stuck in a rebounding set of emotions. Atlas bounced back and forth between angry and interested and back to angry. He was interested so often I wasn’t sure I should make him walk anymore, but I didn’t want to perpetuate his anger and defensiveness either.

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I tried walking around him in circles when he was angry, hoping the rhythm of my strides would be enough to help him find curiosity again, and it worked… but seemingly this solution was a little less effective every day and I was not sure why.

I tried dancing around Atlas to help him find his way from anger to curiosity. This had worked brilliantly with Apollo in our project trekking across Costa Rica. This week it worked for a few moments with Atlas, but then I did too much too soon, and Atlas spun to kick at me for the first time ever. He didn’t make contact, but it was deliberate, and I saw far too many details of the soles of his hind feet as they paused in the air under my nose.

I decided in that moment that I needed go back to my quiet walking down of the stress for Atlas any time I saw the anger come up in him. While dancing around him might have rhythm for me, the intensity of the movement caused emotional chaos for Atlas instead of the rhythm I was hoping to stimulate. No more messing around with different ways to support him feeling better. I needed to stick to the basic idea of rhythm, for both horse and human.

Rhythm equals confidence.

Atlas and I needed to move in ways that let both him and I feel that consistency of rhythm.

Then I stumbled on these two TED talks and I realized there was another facet of rhythm I had been neglecting that might be all the difference between the better and worse days working with Atlas.

Dr. Alan Watkins is funny and easy to listen to and he has a better way of explaining how all this works than anyone I have ever known. If you have not seen these two talks, I encourage you strongly to take a few minutes to hear him explain.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q06YIWCR2Js

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_fFattg8N0

For me the deep take away was the awareness of the rhythm and smooth consistency of my breathing. Perhaps the quality of that determines the quality of support I could give Atlas. I knew his natural rhythm of breathing was erratic most of the time, I also knew that I tend to fall into breathing and acting like my horses. With my mustangs, this tendency to fall into mirroring them has been a value and an asset that bonded us together and gave us strength.

Perhaps when I mirrored Atlas and fell into breathing erratically like him, I only compounded his discomfort in life?

So, I took this to heart, and I focused with all my power on my breathing consistency. Steady and rhythmic and reliable, starting the count at one again every time I saw a moment of curiosity, every time I saw a lick or a chew or heard a deep breath, or saw that crazy twitching of the muzzle.

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My breathing rhythm was supporting Atlas in finding good feelings and experiencing them for as long as possible.

If I got to the count of four breaths and Atlas seemed stuck, self-obsessed, or angry I would look directly at him, to motivate some change. If he could flick an ear or show me any sign of trying to find a better feeling I could work that circle around him slowly and gently, with the rhythm of my feet helping him feel the stability he was lacking.

If he confronted me with anger as I looked right at him, I would walk directly toward his eye with the kind of intensity I thought might nudge him into rhythmic steps of his own as directly as possible. Our walking together to find that rhythm seems to be the most effective way to help Atlas find a better feeling when he can’t, when he is simply stuck.

Two things happened as I started to intensify my focus on my responsibility to breathe for Atlas.

One, it is an exhausting practice, and over and over I find myself sucked into mimicking Atlas instead of holding my own breathing consistency.

Two, it works. Atlas is developing a soft positivity about life that is a relief to me beyond words. We hardly ever need to walk anymore, and while I am still waiting and breathing more than I ever have with any horse I have ever known, I can see the tensions unraveling in Atlas.

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Even on the days we need to walk more, we can now do this in the presence of Zohari and Atlas does not seem in any way tempted to take his frustrations out on his friend like he did before.

Most exciting for me is seeing the moments when Atlas starts to walk toward me. It is only a step or two sometimes, when his curiosity becomes so strong, that he wants to get closer to me. That step or two is the start to a whole new way for Atlas to be with humans.

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In those moments that I see curiosity win over defensiveness for Atlas, my job is to breathe.

Breathe like my life depends on it, and breathe like his life depends on it.

Steady, rhythmic, smooth, and consistent.

This I can do, and this I will continue to do for Atlas until he can do it for himself. Then maybe someday, Atlas will be able to do this for me when I am having a rough day.

I have posted a video in the Patreon group so you can see the details of this part of the process. If you are curious, join the group and you will have front row seats as this all evolves.

https://www.patreon.com/tamingwild

If you have the inspiration to try this with your horses, this idea of breathing like your life depends on it, let me know how it goes, does it affect your horse and your relationship like it has for me and Atlas?

Rhythm equals confidence.

Confidence makes life comfortable.

Here is to more of that in everyone’s lives!

Hooves and Heartbeats,

Elsa

TamingWild.com

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The Project:

Horses from many walks of life, communication through body language, tools used only for safety, never to train.

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The Goal:

To discover how far Equestrian Art can be developed solely using body language.

 

Wandering Together

This week it was time to open the gate for Ari and I, and start wandering a little farther from home.

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The paddock has been a good place for our relationship to build a strong foundation.

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However there is a whole big world out there waiting to be explored together!

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The timing for wandering out together felt right for Ari and I, at this stage of our relationship.

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He gets to decide where we are going.

I get to decide where I stand or walk in relationship to him.

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In this way Ari is the assertive leader as he decides what we do together.

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I am the passive leader, as I make good choices in my feel and timing of where, when, and how to be with Ari, as we wander together.

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Browsing for good things to eat is Ari’s first priority, and I am happy to keep watch for him while he satisfies that desire.

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While Ari is browsing it is also a perfect opportunity for me to practice leaning on him, watching him carefully so my weight comes on and off of him at good times. This builds the good associations we will need later, when riding becomes something we can also do together.

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Sometimes, when you are wandering through the woods browsing and exploring… things smell funny, and then you cannot help but laugh!

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And after you laugh, it feels even better, to just be together.

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The wonderful pictures in this blog and all the others come from my amazingly talented photographer Kevin Smith. We have made a video of this exploration of the woods together and shared it in the Patreon group. If you haven’t seen it yet, Ari and I cordially invite you to join us and see our video, along with weekly video updates of all our adventures.

https://www.patreon.com/tamingwild

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Hooves and Heartbeats,

Elsa

TamingWild.com

The Project:

Horses from many walks of life, communication through body language, tools used only for safety, never to train.

The Goal:

To discover how far Equestrian Art can be developed solely using body language.

 

Set Up for Tomorrow

Yesterday I did not pick up Ari’s hooves even though I know I can now. Yesterday I did not practice wrapping my arm all the way over his back, even though I know I can now. Yesterday I did not get close to Atlas more than once, even though we spent hours together. Yesterday I did not push Atlas’s boundaries beyond his firm comfort zone, not even once.

Instead I spent over six hours with the stallions, simply being attentive and choosing my actions around them wisely while reading the micro changes in their bodies to let me know if my choices from moment to moment were on an improving trend or a degrading trend (helping the horses feel better or feel worse).

This is the real work for Freedom Based Training®. Even though I did nothing outside the comfort zone for either horse yesterday, I feel more successful in my choices than most days.

I do not judge my success of today by the changes I see today, only by the changes I will see tomorrow.

More importantly, if the changes I see tomorrow surprise me and are for the worse not the better, that is a good thing not a bad thing. Because how else would I know that the things I did yesterday were choices that need to be weighed, considered, honed and developed?

This is the real work. Do the very best we know how to do in setting up for tomorrow, then tomorrow assess how well we did and do better. We can only do better when we know better and we can only know better by practicing and then assessing.

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”

Thank you, Maya Angelou.

We have been taught as a society that we are judged on the improvements we can show. The value of our work is measurable by what has changed for the better toward our goals. I am reasonably comfortable with this, but I am not comfortable with the pressure and speed we are all expected to perform under.

What happens if you simply slow down and lower your expectations for success, or even your expectation to be able to judge success today? If all you do today is set up for success tomorrow, you can only judge today’s work tomorrow.

I think slowing down and lowering our expectations makes us the kind of horse trainer that horses might choose to be around and choose to work with cooperatively.

I ask myself, what can I do today that makes picking up Ari’s hooves easier tomorrow?

I ask myself, what can I do today that makes being closer to each other seem more feasible to Atlas tomorrow?

Then I hone the feel and the timing of the small tasks that come before the big tasks.

How many times can the horses feel good about the smaller tasks that build up to the bigger tasks tomorrow?

Tomorrow, perhaps picking up Ari’s hooves will feel so effortless that that task becomes the thing we practice in preparation for handling them with a rasp to trim the edges the following day. Or the day after that.

Tomorrow, perhaps being close to Atlas will feel so effortless that that task becomes the thing we practice in preparation for touching him.

The goal has changed from doing the thing outside the comfort zone (where society has taught us our worth is measured) to doing the thing just on the inside edge of the comfort zone.

Do the thing that is possible in order to improve the feelings of well-being associated with it. The thing that is barely possible to do… leave that for tomorrow.

Work on the foundation for what you want to do tomorrow and build that foundation so strongly that tomorrow you can do it with joy for both the horse and the human.

I am writing this for me as much as I am writing it for everyone else. At the end of 2018 and the beginning of 2019, I know New Year’s resolutions abound for everyone.

I am suggesting, that you give yourself the gift of time in your resolutions.

Work today to build good feeling for the things you might do tomorrow.  Work today on your set up for tomorrow, then look forward to learning from tomorrow how you can set up better in the future.

If you are always learning how to set up better for tomorrow, then in your learning you are always a success. This is what I want for myself in the year to come. This is the gift I want to give you in the year to come.

Set up for success, then assess how well set up for success you feel the following day, improve, and repeat.

If you would like some inspiration for how you do this, I just posted a three-part lecture on Patreon I think you really might enjoy. The lecture is part theory and part personal stories from the trek across Costa Rica we took in the beginning of the year, while we were filming Taming Wild: Pura Vida.

The lecture is here in three parts:

https://www.patreon.com/posts/intro-to-freedom-23657959

https://www.patreon.com/posts/intro-to-freedom-23658111

https://www.patreon.com/posts/intro-to-freedom-23658145

 

It is posted publicly so you can see it even if you are not a member yet. I do hope you enjoy it and decide to join us as a member for weekly updates and inspirations to make 2019 your best year ever, while at the same time also helping me in filming, documenting, and sharing the developments ahead!

A Happy New Year to you and yours!

Hooves and Heartbeats,

Elsa

TamingWild.com

 

 

 

The Project:

Horses from many walks of life, communication through body language, tools used only for safety, never to train.

(Photo taken at Lime Kiln Point, a few miles from my home)

The Goal:

To discover how far Equestrian Art can be developed solely using body language.

 

A Grand Experiment

The full moon is reflecting off of every surface outside and the night is bright and quiet as I write. Here in the San Juan Islands we have just passed through an incredible windstorm that brought many trees down including one on the paddock fence, rattled all the roofs and kept the horses on edge for days. No one is hurt, but I think everyone is grateful for the quiet after the storm.

 

I find myself reflecting on intensity in life and the ways we all experience comfort and discomfort. The ways we sometimes protect ourselves from discomfort and the ways we sometimes walk head on into the wind and drink up the chaos and beauty of it all.

 

At the beginning of the week Atlas and Ari had another big fight, and this one resulted in Atlas becoming injured. Nothing life threatening, just a chest wound from a bite in the heat of battle. I understand stallions fight sometimes and they have their own social structures to build that might be outside the realms of my comfort zone. For that reason, I did not separate them immediately afterward, I watched and tried to understand.

 

Unfortunately, Atlas’ injury and ensuing weakness intensified his tendency to freeze and tune out the world which seemed to anger Ari and the attacks from Ari became more frequent and more intense in an effort to wake Atlas up. When I noticed Atlas starting to look over the fences in a searching way he never had before, I realized my space was simply too small for these two and all their differences. It was time to close the gates and separate them again, at least until Atlas healed.

Ari seems lonely since I separated them, and Atlas seems relieved. They still touch noses through the fence and the intensity of difference between them seems less dramatic every day. Atlas is still the first to pull away seemingly wanting more space to be peaceful. Ari only allows him that because the fence stops him from following and pushing for more attention.

 

I have had these issues before when putting Mustangs and domestic horses together. For Mustangs, staying aware is a life or death matter and they have very little tolerance for herd mates who freeze up and miss things happening around them. There is nothing more irritating to a horse that is quick to fight than a friend who is quick to freeze. Given enough space the horses always work it out, but space is a key factor and not a luxury I have with Ari and Atlas.

 

I have a strong belief that life is about learning. If we don’t know something, we get to try it, and then assess the results.

 

Life is all a grand experiment and we learn a little more every day.

 

I continue with my personal experimental work of Freedom Based Training® and it is so slow with these two that I am continually grateful Myrnah was such a generous partner to learn with in my first project. I remind myself over and over that slow isn’t bad, I am simply learning different things than I learned in the first project.

 

With Atlas there seems to a be a strong correlation between the time I invest simply being with him in ways he appreciates (meaning we are together with the buffer of space between us) and how much I can ask him to stretch his comfort zone. The thing I ask for when I can afford to stretch the comfort zone, is that he be interested or curious when I reach out to him.

I find he can match me reaching out to some degree, but it is a real effort for him, and you can see him grow more fatigued with each repetition. Some days he can manage a touch, the softest finger against nose moment. Other days all he can do is reach toward me, stopping short of any contact. If I ask too many times, he shuts down completely and pretends I do not exist. When this happens, any further movement I make toward him results in flight and I have hours of reinvestment in the relationship, being with him at distances he can handle before he is ready to try being interested in me again.

 

I think this is the grand experiment of the project. If I invest in doing primarily things the horses choose, and then, with good feel and timing asking for the things I might choose, how much can we ultimately do together?

 

I think of this on a spectrum, as I think of most things. It isn’t black or white, it isn’t all or nothing.

 

On one end of the spectrum are the things the horse might choose that we can do together. On the other end of the spectrum are the things I might choose that we can do together. In the middle of that is a whole world of variations we can play with.

 

In Freedom Based Training® I start with things the horse would choose, and I figure out the places around them it is most comfortable for me to be while we experience life together.

 

Then I start venturing into the places around them that are less comfortable, in small enough doses that it is reasonable for them.

 

With patient practice and repetition the horse’s comfort zone grows and the places I choose to be that were once uncomfortable become comfortable.

 

After we have established touch as a comfortable way of being together then I can start adding moments of pressure.

 

At first the pressure is what I call desensitizing pressure, that means I only aim for the pressure to cause interest or thinking of some sort, no movement yet.

Once desensitizing pressure is established then I can start to play with sensitizing pressure which means I expect the horse to move a little when I ask.

 

If I ask too much too soon, I will get fight or flight instead of yield and then I must go back and figure out what is possible in this relationship. What are we capable of together?

 

Investing hundreds of hours doing things the horses might choose is the foundation for everything else! This is the grand experiment of Freedom Based Training®, if I invest enough in doing the things the horse finds enjoyable, how much will the horse then be willing to try new things with me?

 

Then, after we do new things successfully can I link them emotionally to other things that are deep in the comfort zone, such as simply being together in harmony.

 

When we as human beings do training with tools or food rewards, we can ask the horse to do things for us because of an extrinsic motivator, then over time the horse learns to enjoy the things they are being asked to do and the extrinsic motivators become less and less necessary.

 

I am simply turning things around. If we take away all the obvious extrinsic motivators what is the natural evolution of building a relationship and the variety of things you can enjoy together in that relationship?

 

There are many days I wonder if I will get to the end of this experimental year and the horses will still have very little increase in skill to show for my time investment. The stallions are so much more difficult than Myrnah was for so many reasons and at this point I simply have no idea what our result will be at the end of this year.

 

The one thing I know is I asked for a challenge and I got it. Ari and Atlas are going to push my understanding of Freedom Based Training® far beyond anything I have learned before.

 

At this point with Atlas, sometimes we can touch and sometimes we can’t. I am learning to read probabilities of success from moment to moment with him based on more subtle signs than I have ever before noticed. Thank you, Atlas.

 

At this point with Ari I can handle every part of his body (apart from his mouth and his ears) and as I run my hands over his body, I find many moments of focus change, interest, and curiosity stimulated. When the weather is good and the stress levels are naturally low, I have started venturing into asking Ari to pick up a hoof for a moment or take a step back when I ask. I am learning to calm my greedy self that wants two steps of back up the very moment one step feels ok to Ari. I am learning to put my greed aside and read Ari’s probability of success instead.

Push a little when Ari is bored, release to flow when he is interested. Repeat as possible. The goal is to build an association of feeling good, being interested and curious when pressure is applied.

 

Thank you, Ari for helping me find the rhythm and consistency of developing new skills on your timeline.

 

How much is possible from this foundation? I don’t know, it is all a grand experiment!

 

If you are curious to learn with me as it all unfolds, join us on Patreon where I post update videos of the process every week.

https://www.patreon.com/tamingwild

 

Hooves and Heartbeats,

Elsa

TamingWild.com

 

 

 

 

The Project:

Horses from many walks of life, communication through body language, tools used only for safety, never to train.

The Goal:

To discover how far Equestrian Art can be developed solely using body language.

 

Everybody Wants Something

 

Being alive means having needs and wants that may or may not get met and everyone has different strategies for trying to sort this out.

This past week my two stallions had some figuring out to do, and it was very interesting to watch.

I have found the Mustangs that come into my care have a higher need for awareness in the herd than the domestic horses. I think this comes from living out in the wild where there are real dangers and issues to solve with sometimes dire consequences if left unsolved. Horses die if they are not paying attention, or if their herd mates are not paying attention for them in time to warn them of danger.

Ari has proved to be no exception in this need for awareness that I often see in the Mustangs.

Unfortunately, Atlas, does not seem as aware and does not seem to share Ari’s desire for constant vigilance.

Atlas seems to want peace and quiet and regular predictable schedules with easy companionship while he recovers from the difficult life he lived before coming here.

Ari seems to want entertainment, awareness, variety, and interactive friends to go along with his eating and sleeping.

On the surface it would look like these two horses are completely incompatible, but I think they are in fact very good for each other.

From Ari, Atlas will learn to wake up and see the world more than he might naturally do.

From Atlas, Ari will learn to slow down, take a moment, consider the options and choose wisely before taking action.

I think the two of them are very good for each other, but that does not mean it is always easy.

The way I understand this is: If you don’t get what you want easily, there are different types of behavior you can use to try and get what you want in life. I categorize them in three ways: Freeze, Flight and Fight. Each one of these runs on a spectrum that includes both functional and dysfunctional behavior patterns.

Freeze on one side is the catatonic state of believing there is no hope, there is no effort worth making, you are never going to get what you want, and you should just give up and die now.

This spectrum of Freeze runs through variations such as:

Dysfunctional Freeze where the giving up is temporary and likely to explode into the chaos of Fight or Flight at any moment.

Functional Freeze where there is time for rest and recuperation, it is like giving up, but in a healthy way where there is time for the body to repair and recover and then wake up feeling better and ready to take positive action toward the things you want in life.

Then on the most positive side of that spectrum there is thinking, where you see ears, eyes, and noses moving as the senses gather all the information available to make the wisest decision possible to get what you want in life. Thinking before acting is on the freeze spectrum because there is no action being taken in the body yet.

Flight is the spectrum of moving away.

The extreme version is at high speed to leave behind all the things you do not want.

Then it runs through a spectrum of leaving quickly while checking behind you to see if leaving is necessary.

Or making small evasive maneuvers simply to lose the company of someone who is giving you things you do not want.

Then there is the good side of the spectrum where you have somewhere interesting to go (better than where you are now and no longer want to be), and if your friends are fast enough to keep up with you, they are welcome to come along.

Or when you really want your friends to come with you there is a yielding feeling to every movement where you step gently out of a partner’s way, making sure there is room for them next to you and that they can keep up every step of the way.

Fight is the spectrum of pressure – putting pressure on others.

At the extreme version, Fight is full attack and violence.

Less intense Fight is irritating or annoying and gets the attention of those around you.

The good side of Fight is playful, sparing, competing to see who is best.

Or even more gently, the curiosity and inquisitive nature of someone investigating to see what is possible if you nudge just a little bit.

What I have found is that everybody wants something in life and the higher their stress levels are the more likely they are to use extreme strategies to get what they want (or give up on what they want). Fight, Flight, or Freeze with intensity.

As stress comes down you will start to see the more functional sides of the spectrum in action. Everyone still wants what they want, but they start being more strategic and intelligent about getting it.

Last week we had a cold snap and the tension levels went up as they often do in a weather change. Ari’s wants, and Atlas’ wants started being expressed in ways that irritated the other and eventually there was a fight.

As Atlas became more and more frozen and unaware of everything, Ari became more and more attacking. Eventually Ari thought he could get the attention he wanted from Atlas by coming on fast with arched neck and striking front legs. Atlas snapped out of his Dysfunctional Freeze and attacked back, and since Atlas is much bigger and much stronger, it didn’t go well for Ari.

As often happens when Freeze and Fight meet up at the extreme side of the spectrum, it is a little bit heart stopping to watch, and I felt grateful that both Ari and Atlas pulled away with only minor scratches in spite of the intensity.

I managed to catch the end of the fight on camera and posted about it in the Taming Wild Patron group.

You can see the video here if you are interested in joining us behind the scenes of the movie filming process:

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I enjoy posting here on the blog an outline of what I am learning as I do this project. Patreon gives me an opportunity to dig a little deeper and share more details with community who might be interested. I do hope you join us.

The interesting thing that came out of this week and the big fight, was the considerations about herd behavior and how we might choose to deal with that in our everyday interactions with our horses.

I was asked why I didn’t step in to break up the fight and my answer was:

I did not intervene in the fight because I think it is likely that intervening in this case would only cause them to brew stronger feelings that would come out later when I wasn’t there. So, I stood back and filmed and tried to learn from the experience as I watched.

Watching gives me necessary insight into the patterns and likely responses of my horses.

Both Ari and I learned that Atlas is faster and stronger and more violent than he has ever shown before, if you push him too hard too fast. Good to know.

Atlas and I learned that Ari would feel better if everyone was more interested and responsive around him. Good to know, we can work on that.

So, if I am not going to intervene in a fight what would I do instead?

As a leader I think my best choice is to make a timely decision to walk away from brewing trouble, because getting stuck in the middle of a fight is not a good idea for anyone. When I see that tension is coming up, I walk away and make it clear that this is not a conversation I am interested in being part of. If either one of my horses followed my example there would be no more fights. I set the example and then I watch what choices they make.

They want what they want, and I will be able to see the level of stress they are feeling by the type of choices they make with each other.

I think this action of walking away does a couple of things for the herd dynamic. First, it shows the horses that walking away from a fight is an option, and that there is a good way to walk away. When I walk away I do it early so I do not have to run, I keep my steps steady and rhythmic, and I turn to face the action as soon as possible so the horses know I am paying attention.

I believe most fights are simply one horse’s need for more attention. Essentially, loneliness or insecurity are the causes of fighting. If there is enough attention given there is no need to push for more, with fighting actions.

Sometimes it seems fights are about resources (food or friends), but more often than not I see horses use resources as a means to an end to get more attention.

Atlas wants to be very quiet, introverted, and focused on eating and sleeping. Ari wants to be interactive and playful. Is one of them more right than the other? They both want what they want, and this week they had to fight for their rights to get what they wanted. Atlas is bigger and stronger, and he won temporarily. Ari isn’t going to stop wanting what he wants, he is just going to have to get smarter about how he goes about getting it.

Now, what about if I see a fight brewing, and I choose to step in the middle and protect one horse from the other? This is the more dominant management of the situation, and if there is a safety issue, I will do this, or if I am in a hurry to impress one horse more than the other, I might take sides like this. However, I believe the more passive leadership style has a deeper impact on the herd dynamics and greater learning value for everyone involved if you have the time and space to allow it.

If I dominantly protect one horse from the other, I do win a sort of appreciation from both horses, but unless I have some plan to help them both with the underlying need for the fight in the first place, it is only a temporary solution.

When I step in dominantly and stop a fight, I am simply telling them that my wants and needs override theirs, but when I am no longer there, they still will work out which of them gets to decide what is happening.

When instead I step away and then pay attention, I show them an alternate option to sorting out differences.

If Atlas could step away from Ari, but then give him full attention, there would be no need for the fight because Ari’s needs would be filled. If Ari could work around Atlas, stepping in and out of his comfort zone, Atlas would learn to be more aware. But this sort of helping of the other one is only going to happen gradually as their habitual stress levels get lower and as they learn what the other wants and needs.

Lowering the stress levels for everyone involved, that is my job. My hope is that as I lead by example, it will be easier and easier for my horses to choose similar healthy actions for getting what they want in life.

Only time will tell, and for now I am fascinated to be experimenting with all the possibilities in front of me.

I really do hope you join us on Patreon.com to see the weekly videos of the process and the making of the entire movie!

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Hooves and Heartbeats,

Elsa

TamingWild.com