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Tag Archives: Control

The View From Horseback

The Project:

One Mustang directly off the range

One trainer

No tools

Just body language

The Goal:

To discover how far Equestrian Art can be developed solely using body language.

 

The View From Horseback

As I head into the final week of this first year with Myrnah, I am struck by how far we really have come. I started out not knowing if I would even be able to sit on her back; there were so many unknown twists and turns in the path ahead of us. Without any tools to control and manage her as she learned to carry weight, I didn’t know if I could convince her it was a good idea in the first place. Yet here I am a year later riding all over the fields. Really, it is a miraculous feeling. The view from horseback is a beautiful one, and there really is something about seeing the world framed by a pair of fuzzy, curved, black-tipped ears.

I reflect on all that has transpired from those first humble beginnings to the ease and simplicity of the partnership Myrnah and I currently have.

Here is a quote from my blog one year ago:

“We began with advance and retreat of gaze: looking at them when they were trying to avoid me, looking away when they were interested or curious about me. This led them to investigate me, nuzzle my coat, and taste my hair. Then we played with me approaching round about and without looking at them, spending time sharing space; then we played with me reaching out to them and retreating when they were willing to reach out to me in return. When Myrnah was ready for me to pet her, I felt honored to be given that kind of trust.”

It really all has built from there, one simple step at a time. I still use those first games of contact; their application has just become more sophisticated in our evolution. One simple step at a time, Myrnah and I have built our relationship to this place where she and I are happy to go out riding together.

This week I wanted to show you all a bit of what I get to enjoy everyday with Myrnah.

Her energy seems to be coming up again and this week we have been trotting all over the fields. Somehow I find that fun and miraculous that we can trot up and down hills with such balance and ease and rhythm that I can sit back, both hands on my phone, taking pictures as we travel. I know without a shadow of a doubt Myrnah has everything else taken care of.

Errai is always around somewhere, but hardly ever travels with us. He has his own life to live, and knows his Mum will be back sooner or later.

For those few moments Errai does join us for, whether it be for a short canter together or a momentary snuggle, are precious. Errai is growing up altogether too fast.

If we are traveling a meandering trail…

Or a path through the bushes….

Or a bee line for the trailer at breakfast….

Myrnah makes the rides so lovely, yet, noting how far we have come in such a short time, there is a great deal that has happened to build us up to this point. Knowing all the steps we have taken together to get to this ease   ….wherever we go, that view from horseback with Myrnah is an incomparable joy.

Elsa Sinclair

EquineClarity.com

What Kind Of Hurry Are We In?

The Project:

One Mustang directly off the range

One trainer

No tools

Just body language

 

The Goal:

To discover how far Equestrian Art can be developed solely using body language.

 

 

 

 

What Kind Of Hurry Are We In?

 

Two weeks from now is the one year anniversary for Myrnah and me. The one year anniversary for a one year project is a monumental moment. As we bring this year to a close I find myself in consideration: Did I accomplish more or less than I thought I would? The answer is both I think. The project took on a life of its own and led me along a path I couldn’t have guessed at. On the one hand, I have been pushing all year long to prove how much could actually get done without any tools to force cooperation in the training process. On the other hand, every day the question arises between Myrnah and me: What kind of hurry are we in? Do we really need to progress any faster than we are? If we are always hurrying on to the next thing, what lesson did we miss out on in the moment we just left behind?

 

I think if I have learned any one thing from this year with Myrnah it has been: given the choice to hurry and push for progress, or wait for change to evolve in its own time while I attend the moments and smell the roses along the way… the latter choice is always the more satisfying.

The beauty of the mustang project with Myrnah has been the requirement to always show up. Rain, shine, cold, or heat, day in and day out, I have a commitment to a project. I have a blog to write each week, photographs to organize, video to capture and edit, and the ceaseless question: How much can I do in one year, training a wild mustang off the range, with no tools to pressure her into working with me?

 

The beauty of the mustang project has also been its limitations. Without any tools, I can only push so hard. I have been forced by the design of the project to wait for change to evolve in its own time while I attend the moments and smell the roses along the way.

 

I have pushed and hurried Myrnah as hard and fast as I could to learn and progress. Given the limitations of the project, that wasn’t very hard or very fast. Overall I would say I am thrilled with the balance that has been struck between rushing ahead and enjoying the slow unfolding of the moments.

At the start of the project I wasn’t sure if Myrnah would ever let me ride her. She did let me ride her, and so much more.

 

I dreamed that perhaps at the end of a year we might be able to ride a dressage test, or jump a jump course, or take a trail ride, or ride with other people, or trailer to a strange location and work together in unfamiliar territory. Each one of those things Myrnah has done a little of, for and with me. Perhaps not to the completeness I envisioned, but really, what kind of hurry are we in?

 

Within a year this wild mustang mare has learned to follow me and carry me. She has offered to walk, trot, and canter with me on her back. She has started offering the precision of dressage with turns and changes of speed on a mark. She has learned to jump a small jump with enthusiasm. She has walked out on long trails with me, and carried me on short trails. She has carried me in group ride situations. She has even traveled in the trailer to work with me in a strange location. All of those things have been successful, and while I will always want more… what kind of hurry are we in?

 

Everyone asks: What next?

 

My answer is: More of the same, with less of the hurry.

Myrnah and I will continue to work without tools to train. I will continue to blog about it each week. Only now that our first year has proven what it set out to prove, we will push less, hurry less, and settle back to enjoy the evolution of the process.

 

In the coming year I will add the use of a halter for safety situations. Anywhere cars create a hazard, Myrnah and I will add a halter to our connection- a safety net allowing me to know without a doubt I can keep her out of harm’s way.

 

We will also add a saddle to the equation. As we add time and distance to our riding practice, a saddle will keep it comfortable for both of us, distributing my weight across Myrnah’s back on a broader surface than my two seat bones.

 

Other than that, all will continue along the same lines.

 

Myrnah has taught me so much in the last year, I can’t wait to see what she brings to my attention in the year to come.

 

I can’t wait, and yet, really…. What kind of hurry are we in? The more I sit back and enjoy the evolution of each moment, the more satisfied I am on the whole.

 

Elsa Sinclair

EquineClarity.com

Don’t Argue, Just Move

The Project:

One Mustang directly off the range, One trainer, No tools, Just body language

The Goal:

To discover how far Equestrian Art can be developed solely using body language.

 

Don’t Argue, Just Move

 

As I sit down to write I am thinking perhaps my title should be: Don’t Argue, Just Write. I can think of a hundred other things that could be calling my attention tonight and there is a voice in my head arguing that any one of them might be more important than writing. My mantra in the face of such distraction…. Don’t Argue, Just Move.

 

A good life is a healthy balance of action and inaction. Arguing is neither. Arguing neither relishes the peace that could be experienced during inaction, nor does it revel in the constant evolution movement creates.

 

Arguing is a desperate plea for attention and connection. Arguing becomes a coping mechanism that can bond individuals together, but never to the full satisfaction of the parties involved. Only a healthy balance of movement and stillness can bond individuals together in a way that satisfies everyone.

Now this blog marks a certain amount of personal growth for me. I am one of those people who loves to argue. I am always seeking that closer bond with the world around me and sometimes an argument seems like the answer to that longed for connection. I think that harmony of individuals working together toward a common goal is what life is all about.

 

Put that lofty goal of individuals working together toward a common goal in the context of horses and humans, and it is easy to see the frustration, the desperation, and the arguing set in. Devices such as bridles and spurs become commonplace as a means to cut the arguments short and get the horses moving in harmony with the rider.

 

Tools have their place, and I do believe they speed up the process of training a horse to be a good partner. The question is: Do those tools that speed up the training of the horse, also, perhaps deny the rider the training important in making a human into a good partner for the horse?

 

That has been what the year with Myrnah is for me. I am three weeks from the end of our experimental year and the lessons just keep rolling in. Myrnah has taught me more about what it is to partner with a horse than any other horse I have ever known. She has challenged and pushed me to think beyond the normal lines of horse training. She is an incredible teacher.

Last week I talked about developing the habit of yes with Myrnah. With no tools to push through an argument I need to be aware and learn tact and timing about all the requests I make. Each request I make has to result in either movement or stillness, where we can enjoy each other’s company. The more time we waste arguing, the more I am building a habit of Myrnah saying no to me, instead of the yes we need to make this relationship functional.

 

This week Myrnah seems to be feeling a little more energetic. I have been able to spend a little more time each day riding- mostly at the walk. We work on training those first steps of responsive yes when I ask for more movement. Myrnah constantly suggests we stop and rest; I constantly suggest we go faster and explore more of the world. The connection we build together is from an equal game, spending time enjoying the movement and the stillness-alternately what she wants and what I want.

Not only does she need to build the habit of saying yes to me, I need to build the habit of saying yes to her. When she stops I say yes, and then ask her if she can turn; she says yes, and then usually ends up walking forward out of the turn (that turn unsticks her feet and lets us move together). Then she stops and I say yes, I will stop with you, we are stopped together. Then I ask for a turn, or a go, or a back up, whatever movement I think she is likely to say yes to. It is a conversation between the two of us. If one of us starts saying no instead of yes, then it becomes an argument instead of a conversation.

 

This conversation of movement and stillness, this is how we build a partnership. As our connection brings positivity, I find Myrnah and I can spend longer and longer simply existing, enjoying each other’s movement or stillness without the need to constantly counter with another idea to discuss. Myrnah is willing to trot for longer, and turn more lightly; I am willing to breathe when I feel the desperate desire to argue- breathe while I think carefully about what requests I can make that will build the habit of yes between us. Yes to movement, yes to stillness. Yes to being together, moving or being still. Both Myrnah and I need the practice, and love the results. Don’t Argue, Just  Move.

 

Elsa Sinclair

EquineClarity.com

Making Peace With The Things We Would Rather Not Do

The Project:

One Mustang directly off the range, One trainer, No tools, Just body language

The Goal:

To discover how far Equestrian Art can be developed solely using body language.


Making Peace With The Things We Would Rather Not Do

Sometimes we have good reasons for avoidance or resistance; sometimes we avoid or resist simply out of habit. The bigger the habit of resistance, the smaller the reasons can be to cause it. Horses and people are alike in this way. This blog is about making peace with the things we would rather not do.

Myrnah and I are building a relationship and a training method together that relies heavily on the building of positive habits. Because I have no way of forcing her to do anything, I HAVE TO build a habit of her saying yes to my requests. She needs to make peace with the things she would rather not do.

Every time I ask Myrnah to do anything, I have to consider what her likely response will be. If I want to turn left and I think she has a reason to oppose that, I have to consider: Do I have enough pressure to change her mind from opposition to cooperation? If I don’t, I had better just wait for another time to ask. Otherwise we are building a habit of saying no, instead of a habit of saying yes.

Here’s the rub. This week Myrnah has had big reasons to resist and oppose, bringing our training progress almost to a standstill.

Reason number one for Myrnah to oppose me, I talked about in my blog a couple of weeks ago– simply low energy levels. Any mother who has ever lived through the first few months of nursing a new baby will empathize. As much as Myrnah loves working with me and is happy to carry me around, when I ask her to trot or canter, her enthusiasm is limited. I can see her muscle loss since Errai was born and the resulting weakness can be felt when I ride. He is nursing the nutrients right through her and leaving little behind for her own energy expenditures. When I ask her to take a sprint across the field with me, she has bigger reasons to resist than she has to move with me. Grazing and resting and raising her little one are her priorities for now.

I said I was going to try to supplement Myrnah’s diet to help her, but it has taken some trial and error over the last few weeks to understand that this newly domesticated mustang does not consider grain or pellets to be food. She will pick all the carrots carefully out of the grain and leave the rest behind. During the winter I did convince her to eat some hay pellets and vitamins, but, now that green grass is in more abundance, she won’t touch the concentrated feed. The only concentrated feed I have been able to get her to eat is alfalfa hay, and even that only in a limited quantity.

This brings us to the second big reason Myrnah has to oppose me lately. Concern for Errai, his safety and well being, take number one priority for Myrnah, as it should be. Yet, that means sometimes she is too preoccupied with being a mother to even walk away from the herd for a moment to come eat some extra food with me.

This week we introduced a new mare named Red into the herd. Errai, being the bold and inquisitive creature he is, was very interested in her. Nickering, he would gallop over to Red. Myrnah, not knowing if she could trust this new character, would gallop after, determined to chase the new mare away from her precious foal. Theo would then chase after them too, not wanting to be left behind. Then the four of them would gallop a lap around the field before Errai backed off, only to do the whole thing again a few minutes later. Errai looks as though he thinks this is a great new game to get everyone running with him. Myrnah looks frustrated, and Red looks a little overwhelmed by the intensity. I never know quite what Theo thinks, but he definitely doesn’t want to miss out on whatever is going on.

So, as you can imagine, my time riding and training with Myrnah has been altered somewhat by the demands of our environment.

The question remains: What CAN we do together during these times of challenge to keep progress going?

The working theory is to train the first step, to train the habit of yes, and to make the tasks easy enough to accomplish without too much of a fight. We have to make peace with doing the things Myrnah would rather not do, even if it is only those first steps we are able to practice right now. Even if we can’t travel exactly the speed I would like, we can often practice a couple of steps of speed, resting and rewarding each positive effort.

The first few days Red was in the herd I had to pick times when everyone was at their most peaceful, only then asking Myrnah to walk up to the trailer to eat alfalfa. I had to consider her taking a few bites a success, because a few bites was all she would take before she went running back to be close to Errai. Each day she gets a little more relaxed about the new herd structure and is willing to stay and eat a little more. Little by little she is making peace with the things she would rather not do, trusting this new horse, leaving her foal and trusting the herd to take care of him.

The riding Myrnah and I do follows the same patterns. I have to pick a time when Errai is not pulling Myrnah’s attention elsewhere. Then, if she can tolerate a little focus on me, we can work on training those first steps of turns, and trots, and canters.

Just like a person, Myrnah is going to weigh her options and decide if she has more reason to work with me or to work against me. The more practice she has saying yes to my requests (even if I have to keep my requests small to get that yes) the more peace she will acquire about doing the things she would rather not.

The more peace Myrnah feels about doing things outside her comfort zone, the more she learns. I could be frustrated when the environment throws challenges our way, or I could just take it as part of the evolution Myrnah and I are working through together.

Making peace with the things we would rather not do is part of the process for both Myrnah and me. She would rather not be pulled off her job of mothering when she is distracted by its challenges. I would rather not have to take our training so slowly. Regardless, here we are, and we are both going to learn from being outside our comfort zones- that is just the way it works.

Here is to making peace with what is.

Elsa Sinclair

EquineClarity.com

Pay Attention

The Project:

One Mustang directly off the range, One trainer, No tools, Just body language

The Goal:

To discover how far Equestrian Art can be developed solely using body language.

 

Pay Attention

As the quote at the top of my blog reads: Instructions for living a life. Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it.

This week I found myself at times wanting more from Myrnah, and then catching myself and realizing how vague and perhaps inappropriate this restless seeking mode was, realizing I didn’t always know specifically what more I wanted.

It was time to pay attention. What we have now in any given moment is the basis for all we will develop in the future. I can only really know what I want in the future if I have a clear sense of what I have in the present.

In a relationship, if we are displeased with what we have and seek more, everyone ends up frustrated feeling the lack. The growth process becomes a battle. Lucky for me, there is no room for any sort of a battle between Myrnah and me. If I become too combative or aggressive in my requests of her she has nothing holding her to me. She has every freedom to say no and walk away.

So, when I find myself wanting more from Myrnah, I have to follow Mary Oliver’s instructions first. Pay attention. Be astonished. Then, from that place of appreciation, I can dream up all sorts of developmental paths we can take together. We are always developing and achieving more together; it is just the way life works. The only constant in life is change. I do not have to create that change, it is inevitable; my job is to pay attention so I can encourage the changes in directions beneficial to everyone.

This week I spent a great deal of time reeling myself in from a glass half empty point of view. While I understand logically that frustration is not a useful basis from which to develop relationship, emotionally I still find myself there sometimes.

When I go out in the field to see Myrnah and Errai, Errai will come right over to see me, sometimes even at a gallop. It is a beautiful thing, his enthusiasm and joy.

In contrast I sometimes find myself frustrated by Myrnah’s slow peaceful roundabout course to come see me. Then I have to catch myself. Here is a mustang, only ten months in from the wild. Not only is she happy to see me, she is happy to share her foal with me, and she is even happy to put aside her perhaps constant hunger and low energy from taking care of that foal all day, every day. She will stop grazing and come to see me because she wants to be with me that much. Even though she knows I will want to swing up and have her take me for a ride around the field, she still will put aside low energy and constant hunger in favor of being with me.

Instead of feeling frustrated by her lack of enthusiasm coming to greet me, I need to appreciate how much she gives and how far we have come in a very short time. From there I can consider how best to shape our relationship so she might show more enthusiasm coming to greet me.

Perhaps it would be helpful for me to start giving her some more concentrated feed to help her with the demands of her nursing foal. Even though she is on lusher pasture than she has ever had in her life, and she isn’t underweight anymore, I can see her top line muscles starting to waste away under the demands motherhood is placing on her. While that is perhaps a natural cycle, I can see how it also contributes toward a more lackadaisical attitude toward everything in life. From that point of view I can appreciate how much effort Myrnah does put in to come see me. It looks different from Errai, but Errai has nothing but support from everyone right now, while Myrnah is the one doing all the supporting.

So, as per Mary Oliver’s instructions, once I pay attention and choose to be astonished by what I do have, the reflex frustration I felt can melt away and be replaced by enthusiasm to try some different courses of action that might develop us in ways that feel good.

This pay attention idea is something that applies to Myrnah as well as myself. One of my challenges with her is the development of control, specifically direction and speed while riding. When I point her in a direction she would rather not travel, I find she is no longer willing to let me direct her speed. She needs time to stop and pay attention to that direction, consider it, appreciate it, decide it is safe, and then she will consider my request for faster travel. If I had a rope I could bully her into doing as I asked, even before she had a chance to pay attention to this new direction, deciding for herself if it felt safe. However, I have no rope, and Myrnah has a full fifty-percent say in our relationship. I can ask for speed or direction, but not both, until she has had a chance to think it over, weigh her options and decide it if works for her too.

Yes, this frustrates me, even though I understand the logic behind it. Traveling the direction she would rather not through the field, our progress is three steps and stop, Myrnah’s ears pricked, neck arched, every fiber of her being watching and paying attention. All I can do is wait until she relaxes and decides we are OK to move on. Three steps more and we repeat the process. Again and again and again- what is that joke about training horses? All you need are three things: patience, patience, and more patience. Yes I have tried to push her though it, and all I get is a determined spin back in the other direction. I give her time to work it out and wrap her mind around traveling this direction, or we don’t go that way at all.

So while Myrnah pays attention to her direction and figures out how to appreciate it and move forward, I am left paying attention to what Myrnah and I do have, appreciating all we have accomplished up to this point.

Myrnah is only four years old. Most four-year-old horses get spooked by the occasional bush, or deer, or rustle in the grass. Really it is amazing, this horse who has never had a single rope or halter used on her: here she is, considering traveling a direction she would rather not, dealing with fears she would rather ignore, just because I asked. It is a testament to the relationship we have built up to this point that she will do this much for me.

Sometimes I worry we will never get through these difficult moments. What if it isn’t possible to train a horse without the tools to push them through the things they would rather not do? That question haunted me through the months it took for Myrnah to allow me to get on. Yet, having faith in the concepts allowed me to persevere and here we are, riding through the fields every day. Not only do we ride through the fields every day, Myrnah comes to get me so that we can do that together. I have to find that amazing and wonderful, no matter what challenges still lie ahead of us.

So here I will persevere through the conversation of speed and direction with Myrnah, allowing her time to pay attention to all she is concerned about until she isn’t anymore.

I will allow her whatever time she needs to pay attention, and, while she takes the time she needs, I will take the time to bask in the warm glow of all we have done together so far. The challenges in front of us are insignificant in comparison to the ones we have left behind us. While frustration in the glass half empty is always an option, I will always reach for the satisfaction of the glass half full with all the plans of what more to fill it up with.

Elsa Sinclair

EquineClarity.com

Life in Questions

The Project:

One Mustang directly off the range, One trainer, No tools, Just body language

The Goal:

To discover how far Equestrian Art can be developed solely using body language.

 

Life in Questions

Myrnah and Errai are out in the big pasture with all their friends now, and exceedingly happy to be there. Over the last week, watching the dynamics of herd life has made me think about questions. It seems to me there is a vitality and harmony and life in questions. The workings of a herd are all about grace in developing relationship, I believe a horse’s skill in asking questions is what makes for their ease or lack thereof in a herd.

When we ask questions and then listen for the answer it will tend to fall into either a yes category or a no category. If a question asked has a yes answer, you have a developing bond and friendship between individuals. If a question asked has a no answer, you end up with a discussion of boundaries, as I explored in last weeks blog. All questions are valid and develop society as a working whole. However, I have observed that the more questions asked receiving yes answers, the greater the peace and feeling of well being within a herd.

Horses ask very simple questions: Can I stand close to you? Can I ask you to move? Can I itch shoulders with you? Can I ask you to go away? Can I ask you to come with me? Some horses ask these questions with tact and build stronger and stronger connections with everyone around them. Some horses have still to develop that tact and get angry responses that lead to boundary disputes. There is every variation of skill in those discussions in a herd and it can be fascinating to watch.

Myrnah, as always, continues to impress me. She absolutely sets some boundaries about Errai with the other horses, yet every day she softens and settles and relaxes the ferocity of enforcing them allowing Errai more and more contact with his new, enlarged family. Myrnah asks questions of the other horses with a mixture of results. Sometimes she gets a no, sometimes she gets a yes; but what impresses me is how, for the most part, she stays in the conversation with an easygoing attitude, regardless of the answers she gets. She has very little emotional angst or upset about the ebb and flow of questions and answers within a herd, and so, you will almost always see her and Errai right in the middle of everyone, part of the group and looking like they are right where they belong.

There are two chestnut Arabian mares that have decided they are the handmaidens of mare and foal. Maharrah and Savannah seem to flank Myrnah and Errai wherever they go. Myrnah doesn’t seem to mind them at all, and they seem completely devoted to their newfound job.

There are two chestnut geldings who vie for leadership in the field just now. Ram is the established dominant gelding: big, powerful and a little insecure about perhaps receiving no for an answer, his questions are more like demands with a dominant push to always get a yes. Theo is new in the herd: alternately very persistent about wanting to be close, and then hyper reactive, galloping to the farthest reaches of the field when Ram says no and draws a boundary. I am sure the two of them will work it out over time. Questions and answers create a conversation: the only way to create skill in that conversation is to keep having it until ease is developed.

This morning I took Myrnah for a ride around the herd. She felt unbelievably happy and relaxed about working with me. Savannah saw our intention to take a ride around and led the way. Myrnah and I followed her along the mown track at the edge of the field; little Errai came along behind us. Part way around we passed near Theo, and he came toward us with a demand to be close. Myrnah pinned her ears to say no and drew a boundary, but Theo would not take no for an answer, Ram overreacted to the dispute and came charging over to chase Theo off. While I was impressed that I never felt unsafe riding Myrnah through all this, I also knew when I needed to get off and ask my own questions (or in this case, make my demands) of everyone. Given the intensity of the situation I yelled at the feuding boys, sending Rom and a very reluctant Theo off in separate directions. Equilibrium restored in the herd, I found Myrnah and Errai again, swung up, and we continued our ride around the field.

I can’t begin to express how impressed and thrilled I am with Myrnah’s development. With foal at her side and the chaos of herd life all around her, she still looks forward to seeing me, she still is happy to take me for rides, and every day she and I get better at asking each other questions in ways that get yeses instead of noes.

Little by little Myrnah and I will push each other’s boundaries. As we feel more and more connected and bonded to each other, we will become more and more comfortable saying yes instead of no. Those lines we drew in the sand to keep ourselves comfortable will be washed away by the trust we develop.

Errai is part of all this too. This evening he cantered to me as I approached, leaving his mother behind.

His questions to me: Can I be close? Will you scratch my back? Can we play? Over the last week my answer has been: Touch my hand gently with your nose and you can be close, and I will scratch your back. Errai’s idea of playing is all about biting and pushing, so I have drawn a boundary there. However, tonight our communication had developed to a point where we could start to play a little. I could run away from him, and he would gallop after me. When I stopped I would turn so he could run past me. Reaching my hand out for him and drawing it softly away in front of his nose as he circled me, gave him the chance to think it through and choose to touch softly with his nose letting us end the game with the closeness and the back scratches he loves best. Sometimes he still gets too excited and wants to bite me or run into me, leaving me no choice but to push him away and create a boundary again. That happens less and less often, though, as Errai learns the patterns, and I get better at asking questions in ways that get a yes instead of a no.

The life in questions is vivid and bright and inspires us to develop our skills of communication. We all want to have friends, feel loved, and feel safe in our community.  I believe questions and answers are the tools that ever deepen that bond with the world around us.

Elsa Sinclair

EquineClarity.com

Boundaries

The Project:

One Mustang directly off the range, One trainer, No tools, Just body language

The Goal:

To discover how far Equestrian Art can be developed solely using body language.

 

Boundaries

Little Errai seems to be as precocious as he is adorable. Myrnah continues to be the perfect mother and the picture of unconditional love and adoration toward her little one. This week is all about boundaries- recognizing them, expanding them, and laying down new ones.

As we live in community, the boundaries we create are all about the comfort of the individuals within the group. If the individuals are comfortable, then the group is comfortable. However, coming to some decision among individuals about where those boundaries stand can be a work in process and change from day to day.

Because Errai is so precocious and social, we hope to move him and Myrnah out into the herd sooner rather than later. It seems like he is just dancing with excitement over the idea of thirteen aunts and uncles to bounce off of in his process of growing up. In preparation we have been putting horses in with Myrnah and Errai in small groups of ones, twos, and threes, allowing Myrnah to get used to the idea of sharing her colt with the larger group and allowing her to set whatever boundaries she needs to feel comfortable.

For the most part Errai is so excited to go visit with the new horses and Myrnah chases them away, making it clear she is not ready for him to socialize with the equine herd just yet. She lays the boundary close around her foal with people and herself the only approved playmates for Errai. When Errai is asleep, the other horses are allowed to graze quite close to him and Myrnah seems completely relaxed about it; she has set the boundary and is confident they will respect it, not touching him even if they come close. When Errai is up and about, though, Myrnah has less control of the situation and sends the horses farther away to make it clear to Errai they are not for him yet. Myrnah expresses unconditional love and appreciation for her foal with a fierce control of the outside world, setting it up in Errai’s best interest.

Interestingly, on Tuesday this week, Myrnah started to let those boundaries stretch. Errai, wanted so much to go talk to Saavedra and Theo, so he would give a little whinny and take a few steps toward them, and then pause and do it again over and over until he got within a couple of feet. Myrnah grazed calmly a little ways away not interrupting this time. However, when he got there, Saavedra pinned her ears and shook her nose at him, and he spun around galloping back to his Mum, boundaries remaining intact.

Later that afternoon the big gelding, Ram, was in with mare and foal, and finally Errai was allowed some outside contact. Nosing at Ram’s tail and back legs in his ever curious way, Errai was allowed to stretch his boundaries a little farther this time. Ram, however, seemed to recognize the boundary being stretched and wanted nothing more than to get away from Errai and out of that paddock. I guess a protective mother is something to be respected, and, even if she looks calm and allowing, the other horses recognize they are in delicate territory talking to her precious little one. Little by little and day by day I am sure they will come to an understanding of boundaries that is comfortable for everyone.

The boundary that has focused my attention most this week is the one between Errai and his devoted following of people. Everyone loves and adores him, Myrnah is completely at ease sharing him with people, and Errai is thrilled to have people around to amuse him, showing it in so many ways. The conversations he and I have back and forth when I show up are so much fun! A whinny from him, a greeting from me, another whinny from him, another greeting from me, and so on for sometimes five or six repetitions. When Errai sees someone enter his small pasture, he will leave his mother at a gallop to come visit. That sight of a horse galloping straight at you with no hesitation, just pure joy that you are finally there to see him, is quite something.

Once Errai gets close though, there is a boundary to be set. Biting and striking, while natural, fun, playful actions between colts, have no place in the horse-human relationship I aim to foster. So no matter how adorable his draw to people is, Errai must be pushed away if any of those dominant behaviors come into play. The question is: How to set a boundary without using fear to get respect for this boundary? Right now I aim not to startle or strike, just to simply and firmly push Errai away to make it clear he crossed a line. The theory is “backing cures biting”. If I can find ways to cause Errai to back off if he crosses the line without threatening or startling him, that is my preference. Then I just hope we develop good habits and patterns before he gets too big to affect this simply.

The most fun and effective application of this boundary, however, was set between a visitor, David, and little Errai the other day. David and Errai met at the fence to greet each other. I asked David to walk away if Errai started to bite, allowing the fence to be the clear boundary. The inevitable happened, and David walked away to re-approach farther down the fence line. Little Errai figured out after only a few repetitions that he only got to keep visiting with this fabulous person if he kept his teeth to himself. David’s timing must have been just right for Errai to understand that day because Errai became instantly smitten with this new person, following him along the fence line, attention riveted, and so quiet and respectful whenever David did come close. A beautiful demonstration of reward (having your new best friend stay close when you treat him well) can work ever so much better than punishment or negative reinforcement.

The other boundary that has been stretched this week was that of territory Myrnah and I ride in. Stepping outside the gates of the orchard nursery into the larger field to ride was wonderful. The chance to stretch legs and move in longer straight lines was appreciated by Myrnah and Errai and myself. While a walk and trot and a little canter is plenty to keep Myrnah and me happy at this juncture, Errai was thrilled to stretch his legs to their fastest speeds. It will be wonderful to see him out with the larger herd in the larger pastures all the time soon.

So here is to boundaries- set, stretched, enforced, and discussed among individuals. Ever evolving, they keep us comfortable, living together in community.

Elsa Sinclair

EquineClarity.com

The Perfect Now

The Project:

One Mustang directly off the range, One trainer, No tools, Just body language

The Goal:

To discover how far Equestrian Art can be developed solely using body language.

 

The Perfect Now

What if every time we went out to play with our horses we began with the premise that they were already perfect. There was nothing they needed to be or do to make us happy, just their existence did that. If our starting premise was to be completely pleased in the moment, reaching forward from there to develop the potential in the next perfect moment, and the next, and the next, can you imagine what a fun time our horses would have with us then? At the Horse and Soul tour stop last weekend Pat Parelli reminded me, “Be pleased, and never satisfied”. By the time you say now, the moment has passed, so you might as well accept that it was indeed “the perfect now” and be pleased. Then reach forward and look for the potential just waiting to be developed and train from that perspective.

I find that getting the balance between pleased in the moment and striving for perfection is an interesting challenge. When I get it right there is nothing that feels so brilliant, and at the end of a training session both my horse and I look like we have won the lottery.

Every once in a while I find myself nothing but pleased with no inspiration to perfect or improve anything. Those days are nice, but a little flat feeling by comparison. More of the time I am a driven sort of person, with a list a mile long of all the things my horse needs to learn and a feeling that they just are not quite what I want them to be until they master the tasks I have laid out. Being driven like that, I sometimes can get a great deal done… but the question comes up, what was the cost? Usually I find the cost was my horse’s desire to learn more the next day.

With Myrnah my training continues to go incredibly slowly, yet again and again and again I find the pay off is huge. Her desire to work with me and learn new things seems to increase every day.

With little Errai around, Myrnah’s attention is of course divided, though not nearly to the detriment I had expected. Myrnah seems happy to see me every time I come to visit, and this week we began riding again. The first day I rode, I got on and off a bunch of times to make sure she was comfortable with the idea, then by the time I was ready to stay mounted, little Errai had lain down for a nap, so I just sat on Myrnah while she grazed around him.

The second time I rode, Errai was up and about, galloping laps around us, jumping up and down and being the entertaining, energetic colt he is. He thinks it is very exciting to have his mum go for a walk around the pasture.

The third time I rode, we did a little bit of trotting, and rode some continuous loops on the hill around the central bushes. I am amazed how calm and willing and easy Myrnah is, working with me while her colt creates chaos all around us. I actually can’t imagine any of my other horses being so steady and consistent and reliable in that sort of situation. Is it just Myrnah’s temperament? Or is it the care and appreciation we have put into our development together? A little of both I imagine.

Because I have no tools to force her to learn things any faster than she wants to learn them, the balance between pleased and striving for perfection is easier to find with Myrnah.

With my other horses I find myself sometimes trapped in an egoic state of wanting to do everything faster, smoother, easier, lighter, and more beautifully TODAY- unfortunately willing to sacrifice my horses joy in the process to satisfy my personal ambition, driving us ever faster toward perfection.

 

“The master endlessly seeks perfection, but only the fool expects to achieve it.”

 

I am grateful to Myrnah as she presents me with the proof every day that  it is indeed OK to take training this slowly. Development on Myrnah’s time frame is something we can both take pride in- both of us looking forward to any moments we can spend together and anything new we can learn together.

Errai is going to be an interesting contrast to Myrnah in this training process. Extroverted, and social, and always looking to bite or paw at something, he has none of his mother’s quiet reserve. Building a bond with him is going to have to take into account his youthful, short, attention span, and I will have to have plenty of persistent focus while developing him into the best of himself. He is perfect in the moment and doesn’t need to change a thing, yet it is important that we continually strive to help him develop his potential to be even more brilliant every day.

That is the balance I seek. The consistent appreciation of “the perfect now” and the constant striving to develop into the best of ourselves.

Elsa Sinclair,

EquineClarity.com

Riding in Company

The Project:

One Mustang directly off the range, One trainer, No tools, Just body language

The Goal:

To discover how far Equestrian Art can be developed solely using body language.

 

Riding in Company

As Myrnah carries this foal in its ever increasing size, our day to day activities seem a little slower, a little more thoughtful, and each day a little more awkward in execution. Every moment we spend together is precious nonetheless, and we are doing our best to stay creative in our pursuits of excellence. The most fun this week was our first experience riding in company.

We have waited as long as we have to ride in company because group dynamics require an ability to steer and be in the right place at the right time. The last few weeks Myrnah and I have come to a much clearer understanding of left, right and appropriate response time. So this week was the perfect time to dive into the group and ride alongside our friends.

On Wednesday, Myrnah and I joined Zoe and Shelah, Cameron and Maharrah, Stella and Shahan, and Thea and KC in playing around the field together. Myrnah and I take things slowly; tasks like standing on the platform box while watching the kids and their horses warm up is just our speed.

Myrnah seems to love spending time with me even in the simplest of pursuits.

This week we also set up the Dressage arena. Let me tell you, stopping exactly at each lettered cone, and traveling in a specific straight line from one to the next is a lot harder than it looks. Myrnah has been a good sport as she tries to figure out what I want from her around all these white cones.

I love how often she checks in with me to see if we are still together mentally, emotionally and physically.

I think what I love most though, is how calm and effortless each step of this process seems to be for Myrnah and me. Every new thing I do with her seems a little easier than I had anticipated. I was apprehensive about riding in the big field, the herd loose around us and the kids each on their own agenda. I wondered, Would Myrnah still listen to me and act like my partner as the kids went riding their horses hither and yon with the abandon that kids so naturally have. Myrnah proved my concerns groundless on Wednesday, rising to the challenge of the new riding environment like she had been doing it all her life. Even when two of the loose horses went galloping by us at full speed, she just watched thoughtfully and then turned her head to check in with me. Myrnah and I were a team; what the other horses did was merely an interesting backdrop to our partnership.

So here is looking forward to next week. Will we have a foal to play with? Will the next few months with the baby around to distract us be more challenging, or just be the calm and effortless step by step progression Myrnah keeps showing me she is capable of, despite my occasional apprehensions.

I am sure we will do more riding in company in the months to come. Actually, once this foal arrives, we will always be riding in company. I guess I had better enjoy our solo ride tomorrow, just Myrnah and me, traveling in peace though the countryside. Who knows, it may be our last chance to revel in each other’s company without the constant amusement of a cavorting foal underfoot.

Elsa Sinclair

EquineClarity.com

Patient Persistence

 

The Project:

One Mustang directly off the range, One trainer, No tools, Just body language

The Goal:

To discover how far Equestrian Art can be developed solely using body language.

 

Patient Persistence 

Yes, we are still waiting for this foal and Myrnah just keeps getting bigger. There is little new to report about Myrnah and me. It is simply patient persistence through the hours spending time together, developing small skills while we wait. We ride out for meandering, walking treks around the paddocks; we practice small precision tasks of steering and stopping at specific points; and we make the best of the beautiful spring weather, napping stretched out in the grass side by side.

I am finding the relationship I have with Myrnah is more unique than anything I have experienced consistently with a horse up to this point. The connection and voluntary partnership she offers me blows me away every day. If Myrnah was the only horse I worked with, I might begin to take it for granted. The standards of relating seem so simple and so obviously functional that I almost begin to believe all horse-human relationships are like this. When I reach out to her, she always reaches out to me too. When I speak to her she pays attention and makes eye contact. When I ask her something she says yes, or she says no, and the conversation continues simply, beautifully, and easily. One wants to think all relationships between horse and human are this clear, yet I am finding that isn’t so.

 

In the last few weeks I have spent hours in the field working with my other horses in the same way that I work with Myrnah. Through those hours I am beginning to see how truly unique my relationship with Myrnah is. The way I have trained Myrnah is like raising a child. There are no short cuts, just continual patient persistence as we develop an understanding and patterns of communication. The results form a relationship that seems far more functional on a basic level than most you see between horse and rider.

 

Saavedra, my black mustang mare, and I have been partners for a very long time. I have used Natural Horsemanship Techniques to train her; I have used psychology and phases of pressure, lateral thinking and positive reinforcement. I am finding now that I have also completely relied on dominance to build our relationship. Without that dominance we have almost nothing- even bribery has a limited effect on her. I find myself wondering: How might things be different if I had trained her in the way I am now training Myrnah?

 

So I tasked myself: one hour playing in the field with Saavedra, just like I do with Myrnah. To my intense frustration I found I couldn’t even get her to follow me more than thirty feet from the herd, and she blew me off and ignored me as much as she possibly could. I knew if I had a rope or a stick she would give me perfect attention and do whatever I asked.  This however was different- a game of patient persistence. The interesting thing was, when we would get brief yet brilliant moments of draw and connection, her whole expression would soften, like all the tension was melting out of her more completely than I had ever seen before.

After an hour of working with it and really not feeling like I had gotten any tangible success, I quit on a good note, tried not to be frustrated, and lay down at her feet in the field. I expected her to walk away. Saavedra is a fairly aloof and independent mare; it’s just her personality. Instead she stood over me like a mother standing over a foal. For twenty minutes she stood over me, reaching down every so often to nuzzle me softly. Then she walked a small distance away and lay down to sleep next to me. These two things are completely out of character, and honestly made my week. My horse who usually acts like she doesn’t care about me unless I make her care… she changed her tune and wanted to be with me just because I had changed mine.

Two days later I tried again. The same frustration and difficulty was played out, and yet, when I gave up and lay down in the grass an hour later, the horse Saavedra chose to be, ever so gently nuzzling me as I lay curled up by her feet, was a different partner from the horse I thought I knew so well. Then, to top off the event, Myrnah sauntered over and wanted to stand over me too. Pinned ears and bared teeth ensued and I had to stand up for a moment to explain to them they both were welcome to be there with me. They seemed to understand and accept that, and I resumed my nap while my two beautiful mares stood watch over me.

When I attempted to do the work with Ram, he played along for about two minutes and then proceeded to gallop to the other side of the field every time I asked him to touch my hand. I know if I had carrots, or a stick, or a rope, he would toe the line and do what I asked in fairly short order. However, to play the game without using the dominance card, or the bribery card, is completely different.

To train horses without using dominance takes so much patient persistence, I honestly would be surprised if anyone follows in my footsteps and attempts to do what I have done with Myrnah. I am not even sure if I have the patience to do it again myself. Yet, having felt what this relationship is like with Myrnah, I am not sure I can settle for less.

Tuesday, I lay down in the field under Saavedra’s nose. I fell asleep and when I woke up a half hour later all nine horses in my herd had lain down in a cluster around me- everyone asleep, without a single horse left standing on watch. Not only did they gather around me to sleep, they also felt safe enough to lie down without anyone watching over them.

I don’t know exactly why they all felt so comfortable gathering around me, but I have a feeling it has something to do with the patient persistent work this week has me studying. This work started with Myrnah, yet it’s effects continue to ripple out through everything I do.

Elsa Sinclair

EquineClarity.com

 

P.S. My daughter Cameron has started her own blog this week- all about her work with Antheia. Just as she is doing all her own training with Antheia, while I simply stand back and offer suggestions, she is also doing all her own writing, picture choice and layout in the new blog. I just stand back, offer support where I can, and grin when I see she too understands how rewarding this game of patience and persistence can be. Check out the new blog here:

 A Girl and A Mustang