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Tag Archives: relationship

The Project:

One Mustang directly off the range, One trainer, No tools, Just body language

The Goal:

To discover how far Equestrian Art can be developed solely using body language.

 

Life in Questions

Myrnah and Errai are out in the big pasture with all their friends now, and exceedingly happy to be there. Over the last week, watching the dynamics of herd life has made me think about questions. It seems to me there is a vitality and harmony and life in questions. The workings of a herd are all about grace in developing relationship, I believe a horse’s skill in asking questions is what makes for their ease or lack thereof in a herd.

When we ask questions and then listen for the answer it will tend to fall into either a yes category or a no category. If a question asked has a yes answer, you have a developing bond and friendship between individuals. If a question asked has a no answer, you end up with a discussion of boundaries, as I explored in last weeks blog. All questions are valid and develop society as a working whole. However, I have observed that the more questions asked receiving yes answers, the greater the peace and feeling of well being within a herd.

Horses ask very simple questions: Can I stand close to you? Can I ask you to move? Can I itch shoulders with you? Can I ask you to go away? Can I ask you to come with me? Some horses ask these questions with tact and build stronger and stronger connections with everyone around them. Some horses have still to develop that tact and get angry responses that lead to boundary disputes. There is every variation of skill in those discussions in a herd and it can be fascinating to watch.

Myrnah, as always, continues to impress me. She absolutely sets some boundaries about Errai with the other horses, yet every day she softens and settles and relaxes the ferocity of enforcing them allowing Errai more and more contact with his new, enlarged family. Myrnah asks questions of the other horses with a mixture of results. Sometimes she gets a no, sometimes she gets a yes; but what impresses me is how, for the most part, she stays in the conversation with an easygoing attitude, regardless of the answers she gets. She has very little emotional angst or upset about the ebb and flow of questions and answers within a herd, and so, you will almost always see her and Errai right in the middle of everyone, part of the group and looking like they are right where they belong.

There are two chestnut Arabian mares that have decided they are the handmaidens of mare and foal. Maharrah and Savannah seem to flank Myrnah and Errai wherever they go. Myrnah doesn’t seem to mind them at all, and they seem completely devoted to their newfound job.

There are two chestnut geldings who vie for leadership in the field just now. Ram is the established dominant gelding: big, powerful and a little insecure about perhaps receiving no for an answer, his questions are more like demands with a dominant push to always get a yes. Theo is new in the herd: alternately very persistent about wanting to be close, and then hyper reactive, galloping to the farthest reaches of the field when Ram says no and draws a boundary. I am sure the two of them will work it out over time. Questions and answers create a conversation: the only way to create skill in that conversation is to keep having it until ease is developed.

This morning I took Myrnah for a ride around the herd. She felt unbelievably happy and relaxed about working with me. Savannah saw our intention to take a ride around and led the way. Myrnah and I followed her along the mown track at the edge of the field; little Errai came along behind us. Part way around we passed near Theo, and he came toward us with a demand to be close. Myrnah pinned her ears to say no and drew a boundary, but Theo would not take no for an answer, Ram overreacted to the dispute and came charging over to chase Theo off. While I was impressed that I never felt unsafe riding Myrnah through all this, I also knew when I needed to get off and ask my own questions (or in this case, make my demands) of everyone. Given the intensity of the situation I yelled at the feuding boys, sending Rom and a very reluctant Theo off in separate directions. Equilibrium restored in the herd, I found Myrnah and Errai again, swung up, and we continued our ride around the field.

I can’t begin to express how impressed and thrilled I am with Myrnah’s development. With foal at her side and the chaos of herd life all around her, she still looks forward to seeing me, she still is happy to take me for rides, and every day she and I get better at asking each other questions in ways that get yeses instead of noes.

Little by little Myrnah and I will push each other’s boundaries. As we feel more and more connected and bonded to each other, we will become more and more comfortable saying yes instead of no. Those lines we drew in the sand to keep ourselves comfortable will be washed away by the trust we develop.

Errai is part of all this too. This evening he cantered to me as I approached, leaving his mother behind.

His questions to me: Can I be close? Will you scratch my back? Can we play? Over the last week my answer has been: Touch my hand gently with your nose and you can be close, and I will scratch your back. Errai’s idea of playing is all about biting and pushing, so I have drawn a boundary there. However, tonight our communication had developed to a point where we could start to play a little. I could run away from him, and he would gallop after me. When I stopped I would turn so he could run past me. Reaching my hand out for him and drawing it softly away in front of his nose as he circled me, gave him the chance to think it through and choose to touch softly with his nose letting us end the game with the closeness and the back scratches he loves best. Sometimes he still gets too excited and wants to bite me or run into me, leaving me no choice but to push him away and create a boundary again. That happens less and less often, though, as Errai learns the patterns, and I get better at asking questions in ways that get a yes instead of a no.

The life in questions is vivid and bright and inspires us to develop our skills of communication. We all want to have friends, feel loved, and feel safe in our community.  I believe questions and answers are the tools that ever deepen that bond with the world around us.

Elsa Sinclair

EquineClarity.com

The Project:

One Mustang directly off the range, One trainer, No tools, Just body language

The Goal:

To discover how far Equestrian Art can be developed solely using body language.

 

Boundaries

Little Errai seems to be as precocious as he is adorable. Myrnah continues to be the perfect mother and the picture of unconditional love and adoration toward her little one. This week is all about boundaries- recognizing them, expanding them, and laying down new ones.

As we live in community, the boundaries we create are all about the comfort of the individuals within the group. If the individuals are comfortable, then the group is comfortable. However, coming to some decision among individuals about where those boundaries stand can be a work in process and change from day to day.

Because Errai is so precocious and social, we hope to move him and Myrnah out into the herd sooner rather than later. It seems like he is just dancing with excitement over the idea of thirteen aunts and uncles to bounce off of in his process of growing up. In preparation we have been putting horses in with Myrnah and Errai in small groups of ones, twos, and threes, allowing Myrnah to get used to the idea of sharing her colt with the larger group and allowing her to set whatever boundaries she needs to feel comfortable.

For the most part Errai is so excited to go visit with the new horses and Myrnah chases them away, making it clear she is not ready for him to socialize with the equine herd just yet. She lays the boundary close around her foal with people and herself the only approved playmates for Errai. When Errai is asleep, the other horses are allowed to graze quite close to him and Myrnah seems completely relaxed about it; she has set the boundary and is confident they will respect it, not touching him even if they come close. When Errai is up and about, though, Myrnah has less control of the situation and sends the horses farther away to make it clear to Errai they are not for him yet. Myrnah expresses unconditional love and appreciation for her foal with a fierce control of the outside world, setting it up in Errai’s best interest.

Interestingly, on Tuesday this week, Myrnah started to let those boundaries stretch. Errai, wanted so much to go talk to Saavedra and Theo, so he would give a little whinny and take a few steps toward them, and then pause and do it again over and over until he got within a couple of feet. Myrnah grazed calmly a little ways away not interrupting this time. However, when he got there, Saavedra pinned her ears and shook her nose at him, and he spun around galloping back to his Mum, boundaries remaining intact.

Later that afternoon the big gelding, Ram, was in with mare and foal, and finally Errai was allowed some outside contact. Nosing at Ram’s tail and back legs in his ever curious way, Errai was allowed to stretch his boundaries a little farther this time. Ram, however, seemed to recognize the boundary being stretched and wanted nothing more than to get away from Errai and out of that paddock. I guess a protective mother is something to be respected, and, even if she looks calm and allowing, the other horses recognize they are in delicate territory talking to her precious little one. Little by little and day by day I am sure they will come to an understanding of boundaries that is comfortable for everyone.

The boundary that has focused my attention most this week is the one between Errai and his devoted following of people. Everyone loves and adores him, Myrnah is completely at ease sharing him with people, and Errai is thrilled to have people around to amuse him, showing it in so many ways. The conversations he and I have back and forth when I show up are so much fun! A whinny from him, a greeting from me, another whinny from him, another greeting from me, and so on for sometimes five or six repetitions. When Errai sees someone enter his small pasture, he will leave his mother at a gallop to come visit. That sight of a horse galloping straight at you with no hesitation, just pure joy that you are finally there to see him, is quite something.

Once Errai gets close though, there is a boundary to be set. Biting and striking, while natural, fun, playful actions between colts, have no place in the horse-human relationship I aim to foster. So no matter how adorable his draw to people is, Errai must be pushed away if any of those dominant behaviors come into play. The question is: How to set a boundary without using fear to get respect for this boundary? Right now I aim not to startle or strike, just to simply and firmly push Errai away to make it clear he crossed a line. The theory is “backing cures biting”. If I can find ways to cause Errai to back off if he crosses the line without threatening or startling him, that is my preference. Then I just hope we develop good habits and patterns before he gets too big to affect this simply.

The most fun and effective application of this boundary, however, was set between a visitor, David, and little Errai the other day. David and Errai met at the fence to greet each other. I asked David to walk away if Errai started to bite, allowing the fence to be the clear boundary. The inevitable happened, and David walked away to re-approach farther down the fence line. Little Errai figured out after only a few repetitions that he only got to keep visiting with this fabulous person if he kept his teeth to himself. David’s timing must have been just right for Errai to understand that day because Errai became instantly smitten with this new person, following him along the fence line, attention riveted, and so quiet and respectful whenever David did come close. A beautiful demonstration of reward (having your new best friend stay close when you treat him well) can work ever so much better than punishment or negative reinforcement.

The other boundary that has been stretched this week was that of territory Myrnah and I ride in. Stepping outside the gates of the orchard nursery into the larger field to ride was wonderful. The chance to stretch legs and move in longer straight lines was appreciated by Myrnah and Errai and myself. While a walk and trot and a little canter is plenty to keep Myrnah and me happy at this juncture, Errai was thrilled to stretch his legs to their fastest speeds. It will be wonderful to see him out with the larger herd in the larger pastures all the time soon.

So here is to boundaries- set, stretched, enforced, and discussed among individuals. Ever evolving, they keep us comfortable, living together in community.

Elsa Sinclair

EquineClarity.com

The Project:

One Mustang directly off the range, One trainer, No tools, Just body language

The Goal:

To discover how far Equestrian Art can be developed solely using body language.

 

The Perfect Now

What if every time we went out to play with our horses we began with the premise that they were already perfect. There was nothing they needed to be or do to make us happy, just their existence did that. If our starting premise was to be completely pleased in the moment, reaching forward from there to develop the potential in the next perfect moment, and the next, and the next, can you imagine what a fun time our horses would have with us then? At the Horse and Soul tour stop last weekend Pat Parelli reminded me, “Be pleased, and never satisfied”. By the time you say now, the moment has passed, so you might as well accept that it was indeed “the perfect now” and be pleased. Then reach forward and look for the potential just waiting to be developed and train from that perspective.

I find that getting the balance between pleased in the moment and striving for perfection is an interesting challenge. When I get it right there is nothing that feels so brilliant, and at the end of a training session both my horse and I look like we have won the lottery.

Every once in a while I find myself nothing but pleased with no inspiration to perfect or improve anything. Those days are nice, but a little flat feeling by comparison. More of the time I am a driven sort of person, with a list a mile long of all the things my horse needs to learn and a feeling that they just are not quite what I want them to be until they master the tasks I have laid out. Being driven like that, I sometimes can get a great deal done… but the question comes up, what was the cost? Usually I find the cost was my horse’s desire to learn more the next day.

With Myrnah my training continues to go incredibly slowly, yet again and again and again I find the pay off is huge. Her desire to work with me and learn new things seems to increase every day.

With little Errai around, Myrnah’s attention is of course divided, though not nearly to the detriment I had expected. Myrnah seems happy to see me every time I come to visit, and this week we began riding again. The first day I rode, I got on and off a bunch of times to make sure she was comfortable with the idea, then by the time I was ready to stay mounted, little Errai had lain down for a nap, so I just sat on Myrnah while she grazed around him.

The second time I rode, Errai was up and about, galloping laps around us, jumping up and down and being the entertaining, energetic colt he is. He thinks it is very exciting to have his mum go for a walk around the pasture.

The third time I rode, we did a little bit of trotting, and rode some continuous loops on the hill around the central bushes. I am amazed how calm and willing and easy Myrnah is, working with me while her colt creates chaos all around us. I actually can’t imagine any of my other horses being so steady and consistent and reliable in that sort of situation. Is it just Myrnah’s temperament? Or is it the care and appreciation we have put into our development together? A little of both I imagine.

Because I have no tools to force her to learn things any faster than she wants to learn them, the balance between pleased and striving for perfection is easier to find with Myrnah.

With my other horses I find myself sometimes trapped in an egoic state of wanting to do everything faster, smoother, easier, lighter, and more beautifully TODAY- unfortunately willing to sacrifice my horses joy in the process to satisfy my personal ambition, driving us ever faster toward perfection.

 

“The master endlessly seeks perfection, but only the fool expects to achieve it.”

 

I am grateful to Myrnah as she presents me with the proof every day that  it is indeed OK to take training this slowly. Development on Myrnah’s time frame is something we can both take pride in- both of us looking forward to any moments we can spend together and anything new we can learn together.

Errai is going to be an interesting contrast to Myrnah in this training process. Extroverted, and social, and always looking to bite or paw at something, he has none of his mother’s quiet reserve. Building a bond with him is going to have to take into account his youthful, short, attention span, and I will have to have plenty of persistent focus while developing him into the best of himself. He is perfect in the moment and doesn’t need to change a thing, yet it is important that we continually strive to help him develop his potential to be even more brilliant every day.

That is the balance I seek. The consistent appreciation of “the perfect now” and the constant striving to develop into the best of ourselves.

Elsa Sinclair,

EquineClarity.com

The Project:

One Mustang directly off the range, One trainer, No tools, Just body language

The Goal:

To discover how far Equestrian Art can be developed solely using body language.

 

Bringing up Baby

I find I am writing this post with some trepidation. It’s one thing to take a mustang out of hundreds needing homes and try out an experimental training process with her. Whatever happens it’s better than the life most mustangs off the range have to look forward to. However, a small foal brings out the most protective instincts in people. All sorts of opinions crop up: foals should be imprinted; foals should be left alone; foals should be haltered right away; foals should be exposed to as much stimulus as possible; foals should be kept quiet and peaceful… Whatever the opinions are, right or wrong, I am going to make my own choices and most likely do things a little differently. Myrnah and I will be bringing up baby with the same ideals we used to develop our partnership. For better or worse he too is part of the experiment.

Rules of Engagement:

1. The foal always has an exit route open.

2. Anytime the foal wants a rest, all he has to do is reach out and touch you with his nose.

3. Only touch the foal after he has touched you.

4. Respect the foal’s personal space; if he tenses when approached, back off.

5. Teach him polite manners of always yielding space to people. He is little, so it doesn’t take much of a push to gently move him away when he gets too playful or close.

6. The bond between mare and foal is sacred: if they think it is time to nurse, snuggle, or talk to each other, wait for them to finish before interjecting an outside idea.

Six simple rules to follow bringing up this baby. Will this foal become too pushy without being taught to lead and give to pressure right away? Will he become afraid and unconfident about the world without imprinting to set him up for confidence? I don’t know the answers to those questions, but I am guessing the results of raising the foal this way will be no less beautiful than the results of taming a mustang have been so far.

As for Myrnah and me, our training schedule has been put on sabbatical temporarily. My observation is, for the first while with a new foal, the mare is completely devoted to following him around. She does not expect him to follow her until later, after their bond has had a chance to develop. Myrnah’s attention has been committed to following the foal, eating as much as she can when he is sleeping or staying close of his own choice. When he nurses, she stops everything to be still and present with him; when he plays, she watches him with a quiet awareness, there if he needs her to accompany him in his adventures.

When I visited them May 14th at two in the morning, shortly after the foal was born, Myrnah was grazing, and the foal was walking around close to her, trying out his new long legs. I could see them dimly in the glow coming from my phone, but put it away and sat quietly in the dark, close to them without interfering. Within moments Myrnah took the few steps over to me to say hi and give me a nuzzle. A few minutes later the foal stumbled right into me in his explorations, and I held him a moment while he found his balance again. I sat with them for an hour and a half, and during that time both of them came over to see me often. Before I left I stood next to the foal, just off the left side of his haunches; Myrnah took the right side of his haunches and together we gently nudged him to lead us into the smaller paddock farther from the herd, with better fences to keep him from going too far astray from Myrnah in his explorations, at least for the first few days.

Day one, I groomed Myrnah and washed her tail with buckets of water I brought to her so she could remain at her post watching over her new little one. I marveled at how calm and easy she was about everything. I spent time with them, hand on Myrnah’s withers, moving wherever they did; or laid out in the grass a few feet from the little one, both of us sleeping, Myrnah watching over us. Whenever the foal woke up he give a little whinny, and three or four horses in the field whinnied back; this little guy has a whole family who can’t wait to meet him.

Day two, I asked her to follow me just a few steps to the fence where her supplement feed was hanging in a bucket. With great hesitation and many glances back she did; both of us were relieved when the little one followed too. That evening I asked her to follow me across the paddock, but the foal staked his claim and began to nurse, so we waited;

then, as we walked across the paddock, he stopped to pee. I reassured Myrnah that he would catch up in a moment, and she hesitantly kept moving with me. Sure enough, when he was done, he whinnied at the top of his lungs and galloped after us at full speed. Funny thing was later, when I said goodnight and walked away from them, I got only half way across the paddock before he had galloped after me, his mum in tow behind him. All that following him around (like a very gentle drive) on day one had created an incredible draw in him on day two.

Day three, the little one got a name, Errai- named after a star that will eventually move into position to take over the role of the North Star in our skies. It is derived from an Arabic word and means “The Shepherd” I have to say I also like the similarity in pronunciation to the word awry, meaning “away from the appropriate, planned or expected course”. I am sure Errai will teach me a lot as he deviates from the course I thought I had planned. Life is sometimes the most fun when you don’t know exactly what to expect. Day three, Myrnah and Errai got to stretch out into the larger orchard. There are fences he can get under that his Mum can’t, but his draw is strong enough now he always comes right back to her; and there is only more orchard space for him to explore on the other side of those fences. The herd is in view, but too distant to reach.

Errai continues to be more and more inquisitive and interested in everything. Myrnah continues to be the best Mom I have ever seen a mare be. It will be interesting to see how it all develops from here.

Bringing up Baby is the title I chose for this blog (after the old movie) in an effort to remember life is full of comedy and we don’t have to take everything so seriously. We take our job as stewards for the young with an eye to making no mistakes and setting them up for a perfect life, as it should be. Yet sometimes we just need to sit back and laugh at it all and enjoy the moments as they come. Perhaps Errai is here to teach me it can all go awry and still be perfect.

Elsa Sinclair

EquineClarity.com

The Project:

One Mustang directly off the range, One trainer, No tools, Just body language

The Goal:

To discover how far Equestrian Art can be developed solely using body language.

It’s a Boy!!!

Born sometimes between 11 and 2 in the morning Mother’s day (or the day after)

Sunday night I checked in with Myrnah after I got off the ferry from a weekend working away. She seemed calm and easy. I went home for a few hours sleep and when I returned at two in the morning, there was a happy healthy colt tottering quietly around. Alternating between nursing and exploring the world this colt was secure knowing his mother Myrnah was attentive and completely relaxed.

I spent an hour and half with them in the dark, a quiet observer. Both foal and mare coming over to say hello from time to time. Peace and quiet and an exciting new beginning under the stars.

A few hours home for sleep and then back first thing in the morning to spend time getting to know our new addition.

By  mid day, the foal was now 12 hours old and looking stronger and brighter in every moment.

Myrnah is the most amazing mother. More peaceful and loving than any mare I have ever watched with a foal.

The first day out in the world can be exhausting!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A carpet of daisies is a perfect spot for a nap.

Life is good when you have someone shoulder to shoulder with you ready to take on the world.

Elsa Sinclair

EquineClarity.com

The Project:

One Mustang directly off the range, One trainer, No tools, Just body language

The Goal:

To discover how far Equestrian Art can be developed solely using body language.

 

Riding in Company

As Myrnah carries this foal in its ever increasing size, our day to day activities seem a little slower, a little more thoughtful, and each day a little more awkward in execution. Every moment we spend together is precious nonetheless, and we are doing our best to stay creative in our pursuits of excellence. The most fun this week was our first experience riding in company.

We have waited as long as we have to ride in company because group dynamics require an ability to steer and be in the right place at the right time. The last few weeks Myrnah and I have come to a much clearer understanding of left, right and appropriate response time. So this week was the perfect time to dive into the group and ride alongside our friends.

On Wednesday, Myrnah and I joined Zoe and Shelah, Cameron and Maharrah, Stella and Shahan, and Thea and KC in playing around the field together. Myrnah and I take things slowly; tasks like standing on the platform box while watching the kids and their horses warm up is just our speed.

Myrnah seems to love spending time with me even in the simplest of pursuits.

This week we also set up the Dressage arena. Let me tell you, stopping exactly at each lettered cone, and traveling in a specific straight line from one to the next is a lot harder than it looks. Myrnah has been a good sport as she tries to figure out what I want from her around all these white cones.

I love how often she checks in with me to see if we are still together mentally, emotionally and physically.

I think what I love most though, is how calm and effortless each step of this process seems to be for Myrnah and me. Every new thing I do with her seems a little easier than I had anticipated. I was apprehensive about riding in the big field, the herd loose around us and the kids each on their own agenda. I wondered, Would Myrnah still listen to me and act like my partner as the kids went riding their horses hither and yon with the abandon that kids so naturally have. Myrnah proved my concerns groundless on Wednesday, rising to the challenge of the new riding environment like she had been doing it all her life. Even when two of the loose horses went galloping by us at full speed, she just watched thoughtfully and then turned her head to check in with me. Myrnah and I were a team; what the other horses did was merely an interesting backdrop to our partnership.

So here is looking forward to next week. Will we have a foal to play with? Will the next few months with the baby around to distract us be more challenging, or just be the calm and effortless step by step progression Myrnah keeps showing me she is capable of, despite my occasional apprehensions.

I am sure we will do more riding in company in the months to come. Actually, once this foal arrives, we will always be riding in company. I guess I had better enjoy our solo ride tomorrow, just Myrnah and me, traveling in peace though the countryside. Who knows, it may be our last chance to revel in each other’s company without the constant amusement of a cavorting foal underfoot.

Elsa Sinclair

EquineClarity.com

 

The Project:

One Mustang directly off the range, One trainer, No tools, Just body language

The Goal:

To discover how far Equestrian Art can be developed solely using body language.

 

Patient Persistence 

Yes, we are still waiting for this foal and Myrnah just keeps getting bigger. There is little new to report about Myrnah and me. It is simply patient persistence through the hours spending time together, developing small skills while we wait. We ride out for meandering, walking treks around the paddocks; we practice small precision tasks of steering and stopping at specific points; and we make the best of the beautiful spring weather, napping stretched out in the grass side by side.

I am finding the relationship I have with Myrnah is more unique than anything I have experienced consistently with a horse up to this point. The connection and voluntary partnership she offers me blows me away every day. If Myrnah was the only horse I worked with, I might begin to take it for granted. The standards of relating seem so simple and so obviously functional that I almost begin to believe all horse-human relationships are like this. When I reach out to her, she always reaches out to me too. When I speak to her she pays attention and makes eye contact. When I ask her something she says yes, or she says no, and the conversation continues simply, beautifully, and easily. One wants to think all relationships between horse and human are this clear, yet I am finding that isn’t so.

 

In the last few weeks I have spent hours in the field working with my other horses in the same way that I work with Myrnah. Through those hours I am beginning to see how truly unique my relationship with Myrnah is. The way I have trained Myrnah is like raising a child. There are no short cuts, just continual patient persistence as we develop an understanding and patterns of communication. The results form a relationship that seems far more functional on a basic level than most you see between horse and rider.

 

Saavedra, my black mustang mare, and I have been partners for a very long time. I have used Natural Horsemanship Techniques to train her; I have used psychology and phases of pressure, lateral thinking and positive reinforcement. I am finding now that I have also completely relied on dominance to build our relationship. Without that dominance we have almost nothing- even bribery has a limited effect on her. I find myself wondering: How might things be different if I had trained her in the way I am now training Myrnah?

 

So I tasked myself: one hour playing in the field with Saavedra, just like I do with Myrnah. To my intense frustration I found I couldn’t even get her to follow me more than thirty feet from the herd, and she blew me off and ignored me as much as she possibly could. I knew if I had a rope or a stick she would give me perfect attention and do whatever I asked.  This however was different- a game of patient persistence. The interesting thing was, when we would get brief yet brilliant moments of draw and connection, her whole expression would soften, like all the tension was melting out of her more completely than I had ever seen before.

After an hour of working with it and really not feeling like I had gotten any tangible success, I quit on a good note, tried not to be frustrated, and lay down at her feet in the field. I expected her to walk away. Saavedra is a fairly aloof and independent mare; it’s just her personality. Instead she stood over me like a mother standing over a foal. For twenty minutes she stood over me, reaching down every so often to nuzzle me softly. Then she walked a small distance away and lay down to sleep next to me. These two things are completely out of character, and honestly made my week. My horse who usually acts like she doesn’t care about me unless I make her care… she changed her tune and wanted to be with me just because I had changed mine.

Two days later I tried again. The same frustration and difficulty was played out, and yet, when I gave up and lay down in the grass an hour later, the horse Saavedra chose to be, ever so gently nuzzling me as I lay curled up by her feet, was a different partner from the horse I thought I knew so well. Then, to top off the event, Myrnah sauntered over and wanted to stand over me too. Pinned ears and bared teeth ensued and I had to stand up for a moment to explain to them they both were welcome to be there with me. They seemed to understand and accept that, and I resumed my nap while my two beautiful mares stood watch over me.

When I attempted to do the work with Ram, he played along for about two minutes and then proceeded to gallop to the other side of the field every time I asked him to touch my hand. I know if I had carrots, or a stick, or a rope, he would toe the line and do what I asked in fairly short order. However, to play the game without using the dominance card, or the bribery card, is completely different.

To train horses without using dominance takes so much patient persistence, I honestly would be surprised if anyone follows in my footsteps and attempts to do what I have done with Myrnah. I am not even sure if I have the patience to do it again myself. Yet, having felt what this relationship is like with Myrnah, I am not sure I can settle for less.

Tuesday, I lay down in the field under Saavedra’s nose. I fell asleep and when I woke up a half hour later all nine horses in my herd had lain down in a cluster around me- everyone asleep, without a single horse left standing on watch. Not only did they gather around me to sleep, they also felt safe enough to lie down without anyone watching over them.

I don’t know exactly why they all felt so comfortable gathering around me, but I have a feeling it has something to do with the patient persistent work this week has me studying. This work started with Myrnah, yet it’s effects continue to ripple out through everything I do.

Elsa Sinclair

EquineClarity.com

 

P.S. My daughter Cameron has started her own blog this week- all about her work with Antheia. Just as she is doing all her own training with Antheia, while I simply stand back and offer suggestions, she is also doing all her own writing, picture choice and layout in the new blog. I just stand back, offer support where I can, and grin when I see she too understands how rewarding this game of patience and persistence can be. Check out the new blog here:

 A Girl and A Mustang

The Project:

One Mustang directly off the range

One trainer

No tools

Just body language

 

The Goal:

To discover how far Equestrian Art can be developed solely using body language.

 

 

Playing with Stress

Myrnah and I are still waiting for this foal. I think we have a couple more weeks to wait, yet this stage of pregnancy and the waiting involved seem to be stressful for both Myrnah and me. My mare who has been so rock solid through all the life changes we have experienced together is all of the sudden a different horse. When stress levels are up, life’s simple occurrences can cause an unwarranted intensity of reaction. The birds fluttering in and out of the bushes used to be a back drop for life, now who knows which bird is going to cause Myrnah to jump out of her skin, heart racing, causing both of us to search high and low for the saber-toothed tiger that must be lurking nearby. Looking for that tiger every few minutes is exhausting and stressful all on its own. Holding a level of tension that makes hyper vigilance, shock, and reaction likely is not a fun way to live. All other goals aside, this week has been simply about playing with stress. What can we do to lower the stress and make life easier to live in these last weeks of Myrnah’s pregnancy?

There are three solutions I know of to lower stress: movement, stillness and connection. As Myrnah becomes larger and her physical comfort decreases I think she moves around the pasture less. When she becomes still that baby is still dancing a salsa inside her belly and being utterly distracting from any sense of quiet or peace. Adding to those two factors it becomes more and more challenging for Myrnah to connect with me, or the herd, if she feels stressed, reactive, hyper focused on perceived danger, or spacey and unfocused in a rebound from being hyper focused a moment before.

 

What is stress? I think emotional stress is simply the energy you feel when life isn’t the way you want it to be, and you feel powerless to change it for the better. Stress can be good and it can be bad; the trick is to play with it in a way that brings the most benefit possible. We stress a muscle to make it stronger. We can’t make a muscle stronger without the stress to motivate change. Stress too much and you create injury; stress too little and the resulting change is little to none. In order to play with emotional stress we need to look at it the same way we look at the physical.

 

Myrnah is going through huge physical changes right now; her physical stress and her emotional stress are all intertwined. So the question for me is: what can I do to help Myrnah feel a personal power to make her life better?

Movement, stillness, and connection- first things first, we move together, side by side, shoulder to shoulder; we walk as far and as quietly as we need to. Doing it together gives us both a sense of connection. When that bird, dressed as a saber-toothed tiger, comes out of the bushes at us, after the reactionary leap we practice stillness for as long as Myrnah needs. Her ears pricked, eyes scanning every shadow for possible danger, she just needs to be still until she feels safe enough to move again. Once her heart rate has calmed and her hyper vigilance softened, we move again- step for step, each moment of rhythmic footfall bringing confidence back into the picture.

 

When I show up in the morning and Myrnah and I take our customary walk to the trailer for breakfast, some days she is connected and calm, and the trip takes only a moment. Other days, if Myrnah is stressed, it can take up to an hour to travel the hundred steps from the barn to the trailer as we weave loops and circles, double back, and start again, movement and stillness alternating until she has the confidence to walk that short distance up the hill.

 

Some mornings she stomps in the trailer and eats her handful of vitamins with gusto; some mornings all she can manage is a bite before she bolts out of the trailer telling me she is too worried and stressed to eat. So we walk some more, and rest some more, and I let her know I am there for her. Whether she feels connected or not, I am right there for her to connect with any time. Once we have walked for long enough, and the emotional stress has lowered, she can then walk into the trailer, finish her breakfast in peace, and we are ready to move on to other things.

 

I long for the calm and steady mare I brought home with me from southern Oregon in August. Yet I have to trust that making it through the stress she feels now in these last weeks of pregnancy is going to make us stronger together. It isn’t her fault that she feels the way she does. The changes she is experiencing internally are huge. If I can help her learn how to move and be still and connect in ways that lower her emotional stress, then hopefully the physical changes that she has no control over will be building and strengthening instead of overwhelming.

This week has been about playing with stress. The best way I know to lessen the negative consequences and increase the positive are to make it a game. Life is supposed to be fun as well as challenging.

 

Elsa Sinclair

Equine Clarity.com

The Project:

One Mustang directly off the range, One trainer, No tools, Just body language

The Goal:

To discover how far Equestrian Art can be developed solely using body language.

 

The Waiting Game 

In life, change is the one thing you can always count on. No matter what a moment feels like, it is momentary. Without fail, given time, all things change. Myrnah and I find ourselves this week in the waiting game.

 

Two weeks ago we were reveling in breakthroughs of speed, developing forward and playing with comfort in movement. One week ago everything seemed to slow down abruptly. I wasn’t sure if it was Myrnah or me slowing us down. Her belly keeps getting bigger making her movements increasingly ponderous and all last week I found myself fighting a flu bug. By mutual consent our week’s work consisted of more time spent relaxing together than anything else, Myrnah grazing and me quietly still with my eyes closed. That is why the blog last week was about Cameron and Antheia, with Myrnah and I existing simply as inspiration.

 

This week everything has slowed yet another notch. Myrnah’s belly has gone from a high, toned, fit look, wide yet still athletic, and progressed into the next stage with the baby hanging lower each day. She seems to have entered that stage of pregnancy where you think the belly can’t possibly get any bigger; this baby has to be coming soon! Yet you know from seeing other pregnancies, there is still a ways to go- that foal will just keep on growing until it is ready, and, comfortable or not, Myrnah will continue to carry it as it seems to get impossibly big. It is a waiting game now.

Being a trainer with a plan and a mother who remembers longing for distraction in those last weeks of pregnancy, practice of skills continues for Myrnah and me, just slowed to a snail’s pace. We still spend hours together every day, walking side by side, practicing her turns and her responsiveness to fingertip pressure on the sides of her neck.

 

I still ride a little, though less and less as Myrnah makes it clear it isn’t comfortable for her any more. Sometimes as I swing a leg over her back she stands solid and calm, so we walk for a bit, making progress in small parts of our training like traveling farther and farther from the barn up the hill towards the trails, opening a gate while mounted, walking into the trailer while I am riding- distracting, fun, quiet activities. More often however, Myrnah’s neck and back tighten and I jump directly off. If I stay sitting on her when I feel that tight resistance, it is followed by a staggering awkward step off to the side confirming for me that Myrnah needs to be babied a little more in these last days of carrying the new baby.

 

I want to do more and Myrnah is restless, like she wants to do more too, yet the changes keep coming with more and more signals for us to slow down and be patient. Myrnah seems unusually spacy and unfocused. Getting her attention for a task requires increasing amounts of effort and persistence on my part. She has gotten jumpy and easily surprised, occasionally leaping to the side, eyes wide, heart pounding a million beats a minute, her entire body tensed for flight. I look for what could have caused the fright and can see nothing; so we stand together breathing deep until it passes and she can go back to grazing and walking with me.

I think perhaps sometimes the startle is in response to something internal for Myrnah. Sometimes I can see that baby goes quickly from so still to dramatic movements that rock Myrnah’s entire frame, forcing her to step her feet wide and brace against the earthquake in her belly, as if this baby also grows tired of the waiting game. Nonetheless, wait we must- Myrnah, the baby and I.

 

Myrnah is a wonderful combination of social and comfortable alone. Her days are spent out in the large pasture with the herd. Grazing nose to nose with the big gelding Ram, or bossing around the other mares, Myrnah seems at ease with the group. She is surprisingly dominant when horses are grumpy, as though she agrees with me that horses just need to move their feet to find their way from grumpy to happy. Her bossiness seems more like a public service than a personal agenda. She isn’t aggressive, just friendly with everyone. If they choose to be less than friendly with her, well then obviously they must need a little movement to feel better.

 

Every night she comes into the sheds and grass paddocks behind the barn- a special feed of hay and the beautiful lush green foaling paddocks all to herself. I am impressed she doesn’t seem to mind being alone at all. Each morning when I arrive she is standing quietly sleeping or grazing. A walk to the trailer for snack, a grooming, an hour of playing with me on small development tasks, and then I put her back out in the big pasture with the herd.

 

Maybe tomorrow I will arrive to find two where there once was one. I think though, we still have a ways to go. This waiting game must be played; change comes when it does, and this baby has a timing all its own.

 

Elsa Sinclair

EquineClarity.com

The Project:

One Mustang directly off the range, One trainer, No tools, Just body language

The Goal:

To discover how far Equestrian Art can be developed solely using body language.

Myrnah’s gift

When I began this project with Myrnah I imagined it as an isolated project. Interesting, yet separate and completely different from the rest of the training and teaching I do. Never have I been so thrilled to be wrong. Instead of the project being separate and different, I find the things Myrnah teaches me permeate and improve everything else I do. Myrnah’s gift to me, showing me a relationship with horses from a completely different angle, seems to spread all through my work like ripples in a pond.

The developmental processes Myrnah has helped me learn, the processes that I didn’t have a year ago, profoundly benefit the horses and the people I come in contact with everyday. So any of you who get to work with me, next time we have a great session together, Thank Myrnah!

This week, with its beautiful sunny days, white puffy clouds, and a school vacation, brings me to tell you about Cameron and Antheia. Cameron is my daughter, ten years old, and loves horses just about as much as I do. Antheia is the grey mustang filly coming three years old this spring. Thanks to Myrnah’s inspiration, this week was truly special for Cameron and Antheia.

Antheia and Cleo are the only two horses still living in the paddocks at my house. The pastures down in the valley with the lush abundant grass are a wonderland for any horse getting enough exercise to work off the sugar. For the horses not yet under saddle, all that food can be too much of a good thing… so for now Cleo and Antheia stay in the upland paddocks close to home with Cameron and me.

Antheia is a love- innately social with a playful mind and a steady disposition, eager for anything new and fun the world can bring her. At close to three-years-old I wasn’t in a hurry to start her riding career; however, I knew she and Cameron would both enjoy the development process immensely. So with the combination of sunny days, time on our hands, and Myrnah’s gift of inspiration, I broached the idea to Cameron, and the game was on!

Day one: Cameron groomed Antheia loose in the paddock and then I talked her through the drive and draw process Myrnah and I use. Slowly and patiently Cameron used the pressure of moving in and out of Antheia’s space to create the magnetic draw bonding them together. I was surprised how hard Antheia made Cameron work for it, and I was impressed with Cameron’s perseverance as she developed her timing to attract and draw Antheia with her. Once they made it to the round pen together, Antheia following Cameron freely at liberty, Cleo and I came in too and helped speed the process along.

The game was for Cameron to use as much drive and draw and patient persistence as she felt good about. If it felt like Antheia was not holding up her side of the equation- drawing to Cameron- then we could switch games, sending Cleo and Antheia out to take a run around the round pen together, knowing Antheia would be much more interested in working with Cameron once she knew the alternative.

My work with Myrnah has encouraged me to minimize sending horses away, pushing them to move because they are trapped between a fence and me. Nonetheless, tools like a round pen were created with good reason- they speed up the process. Not everyone has the time and the patience to take the slowest road of development. Cameron and Antheia’s work this week was inspired by Myrnah, yet tailored for them.

By the end of day one, Cameron had taught Antheia to draw with her and find a resting spot next to the tires stacked as a mounting block.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Day two found the draw a little easier between them, and a comfortable ease with Cameron climbing up on the makeshift mounting block to stand up high over Antheia’s back and belly over, letting Antheia feel weight for the first time ever.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Day three graduated naturally to Cameron swinging a leg over and sitting high, Antheia carrying a rider astride for the first time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Day four Cameron was on and off a dozen times, sitting longer each time, finally riding as a passenger as Antheia chose to walk over and step up on the pedestal-

TA DA!!! .

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Day five the draw between Cameron and Antheia was almost effortless, so they added to the groundwork the practice of pressure on Antheia’s side to mean move forward, linking beautifully with the riding. By the end of day five Cameron could ask for a walk with the nudge of a heel, and Antheia was happy to oblige.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There is something special about starting your first horse under saddle; it is an experience you don’t forget. Thanks to Myrnah, Cameron and Antheia took that experience up a notch- no saddle and no bridle or halter, just an understanding between them. I got to watch from the sidelines, simply offering words of encouragement and shining a light on their path.

I sat on the ground, Cleo standing guard over me as I snapped photos and reveled in watching another horse and rider experience the inexplicable joy that comes with building a bond and doing something new together. There is really nothing quite like it.

Myrnah’s gift I think is really about realizing how powerfully rewarding it is to do things with more trust and less force. It may take longer, it may feel harder, it may seem pointless at times, but there is nothing comparable to the feeling you get doing something new, knowing your partner wants to be there with you. Nothing is holding you, but the desire to be there together.

Elsa Sinclair

EquineClarity.com